Girls, I think my (ex?) girlfriend is emotionally immature and I really don't know how to approach it?

I am rather young; but I dated this one girl for 7 months before I made the decision to call it quits. I called it quits 3 weeks ago, saying I couldn't take the drama and everything anymore. Later that week she begged me to get back together with her, so I did but made her promise not to put me through drama and such. But after another week, bringing me to now, she pulled the same crap again. This is what I mean:
-> She has a lot of guy friends. Look I fully respect having friends with guys and yes I get a little jealous, but I don't find it fair nor respectful when she's off texting her friends all the time during our dates.
-> She got really close with my best friend, who is dating someone else, and all she does is talk about him and text him and hang out with him... and she kind of like rubs it in my face which is rude. She also put a picture of the two of them on facebook and when I asked she said it was such an innocent picture.
-> Everytime I'd tell her something was bothering me, or lets say I didn't agree with something she was doing because it was rude (like her texting other guys on dates), she would always act so immature about it. She would try to guilt trip me, manipulate me, try to make me feel like she is the victim not me; just because I was challenging her way. And then after arguments she pulls the "I'm so done" crap and ignores me until I say "I'm sorry".
The last one is important because I had a fight with her a few days ago, and I don't know if pointing out her treating me like I was just one of her "guy friends" was the right thing to do, but I said that and she pulled all the immature crap and is now ignoring me. But I have enough self-respect now that I don't want to apologize because it feels like my points are just.
I want to keep the relationship with her, I just wish she'd stop being so stubborn and selfish when it comes to her needs/wants. What should I do? Any direction? I still want to be w/ her bc I love her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • To be quite frank with you: It is no longer your place to handle it. She's your ex. She is officially not in a relationship with you so it's genuinely not your concern to handle her issues. Which essentially is a positive thing for you! You're not a trained professional. You are not a life coach. You are a young, developing, growing teenager who should be able to enjoy your youth without unnecessary, excessive drama.

    If she is emotionally immature, as you say, then there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. That is her obstacle to overcome by herself in her own time. You have no control over someone else's maturity level. The only thing that can control something like that in someone else is life: Death, loss, unfortunate events that will humble the hell out of her. What you need to do right now is honor where she's at on the timeline of her life, let her process and grow at her own pace, and FOCUS ON YOU. Focus on your own journey and what you wish to experience in this life (that doesn't involve her).


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What Girls Said 1

  • Do exactly what she did to you.. Let her taste her own medicine and learn to appreciate you.. I understand how you feel because I felt it before :(


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