Is she just lying to soften the blow? Help?

This girl I've been seeing for a few months says she thinks it's best we stop seeing each other for a while as she can't give me what I want sexually. Before we met she was with an abusive partner for about 3 months who beat her. She said she didn't realise how much this damaged her till we started seeing each other. She said she has no sexual desire at the moment but is very attracted me and feels guilty as we have only slept together once and have been in bed together many times. She said she needs some time to figure things out and said she understands if i start dating again as she doesn't want me to waste my time waiting for her. My question is, if she was with the right partner wouldn't this not happen? I feel somehow this is my fault, or maybe this is an easy way to let me go? I'm so bloody confused! But can't help feeling I am some what to blame as she said she loves spending time with me but she just can't give me what I need sexualy at the moment. What does that even mean? I feel like what she is saying is believable as domestic abuse obviously seriously affects people but I can't help thinking it's an excuse as if she likes me that much we would try and work things out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it sounds like a bunch of bull and a win win for her. she sounds like she is using you here is the two outcomes i see happening

    1. she doesn't like having sex with you and with this excuse if she stays she has a free pass for not having sex with you but still gets all the benefits of being a girlfriend (free food, free stuff, attention, etc)

    2. if she breaks up with you she never really liked you in the first place and this is an attempt to save face and not look like a bitch for the real reason of dumping you. here's why its her saving face notice she immediately went and blamed someone else for her actions and how she didn't try to work out your relationship at all. not only that but notice how open ended she is leaving the break up she wants you to be the one to chose leave or stay but since you're making the choice she shares none of the accountability.

    its a lose lose situation for you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It doesn't who she's with because she's still gonna feel messed up. What she went through was traumatic and it's actually pretty reasonable for her to want to take some time for herself to get her problems sorted out. It's not your fault. It's the guy that she dated before you fault. He's the one that made her feel this way. She probably feels guilty that she can't have sex because she doesn't feel ready and feels like she's bringing you down and depriving you of something that you really want. She just needs to see that you're willing to be patient and to be there for her and to help her through this. She probably feels alone and thinks that she doesn't need any help when really she probably does. It's a long road for her to recover and she doesn't want to hold you back with her. If you really care about her then don't let her get away!!

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  • I don't get what you're not getting, haha. She was very straightforward with you. This isn't your fault at all. She's just not at a point in her life where she wants to engage in intercourse or anything physically intimate.

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  • She doesn't like you that much, therefore she is using her past experience as an excuse.

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  • You're not right for her. Let her be

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's irrelevant wether it's true or a brush off, it's hard to say.
    She said it's o. k for you to start dating others, so really let her be and move on.
    If she changes her mind she can find you. Good luck

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    • This. It doesn't matter if what she told you was the truth or a bunch of fibs, the bottom line is that she ended it with you.

      I wouldn't be surprised if she either met someone better, or is running back to her ex.

    • Mate, there is no reason why you can't find better either, take this time to see where you might of lowered her interest, and improve yourself

  • I answered this exact question twice already and I'm starting to think you just want to hear something that simply isn't true

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    • This is the second time yes but the first question got. Blocked for the title.

    • This is the third time you asked not the second. I'll say what I said before she's bored of you but doesn't want to seem like the bad guy for breaking up for that reason. That's why she made herself the victim by mentioning an ex

  • She's lying.

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