Need to break up but don't know how?

So I now unhappy with my relationship. I love him and been there for him but I can't keep in this relationship as it starting to hurt me a lot. He is careless and I can't stay with him.
My problem is that I can't break up. I tried to break up face to face but I always burst into tears and don't break up. I sent him text but he always knows how to make me change my mind. What shall I do. I need to close thus chapter if my life and start a new one


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He dos not "make" you change your mind. It is always your decision. You should be asking yourself why will I not follow through on my decisions.

    Your problem probably comes from the fact that you follow your heart instead of your head. That is okay. . . sometimes, but not now. You should adopt a simple strategy: follow your heart into a relationship into a relationship but follow your head out of a relationship.

    If you can't break up ay other way, send him a letter telling him that you want to end the relationship and that, if he has my respect for you, he will not try to contact you again. If he still comes around and you allow him back in t your life, you need some counselling to deal with your lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.

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    • Yes , I do ask this question to myself. Coz am stupid

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    • Great advice @OlderandWiser!

      I would like to offer my feedback, but first I wanted to ask, what age are you and your boyfriend?

    • I am 25 and he is 32

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Hey Anon!
    Ask yourself this. What is the aspect of the relationship that is still satisfying you. Is it sexual? Is it not having to be vulnerable back on the dating scene? Is it just safety in familiarity? Next, are you holding onto the idea that he can change and give you the love you want? Or is there a fear that this is as good as it gets?
    Next, figure out exactly what you want in a relationship. Trust? Comfort? Passion? Adventure? Write it all down! Then hold that new standard up the the relationship you are in. It may help you reach for something better! Good luck!

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    • Do you think he would change. Basically this is the love of my life. And I would not want more. But he has changed and he is not giving me anything. Its just I can't get used to this new routine and yet I don't want him out of my life

    • You do want more. He is not meeting your needs. You either stay and live in pain and hurt. Or you leave and face the discomfort of facing your fear of looking for someone new. He is not "the" love of your life. He is "a" love of your life. There will be others, but you will not find them if you are not strong enough to break free and make yourself vulnerable to rejection and discomfort of finding someone new. It is not easy, but look at yourself 3 years down the road with this guy. Will you get married? It will end in divorce, right? Have kids with him? He won't be a good father because he will not have time with the child because of the divorce. You will go into therapy which will cost tons of money only to figure out that you made a mistake. And you will still have to face the pain and fear of ending a relationship. It is just how much time you need to waste before you decide that you are worth more and go out and get someone who you can love that loves you in return. So be brave!

  • If its not happening then maybr u dont want it urself... If u wanted it that bad u would have just ended it on his face... Look i dont have any right to say this but... U shouldn't give up... Ur not giving up on him.. Ur giving up on love... Dont do it. Try to handle the situation and i know i shouldn't be saying this... So im sorry but if i love someone i won't let them go so easily... I would do anything and change to whatever extent it need me to... try to solve please

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    • I really don't want to. .. it maybe make sense. I tried everything to make him happy. But even if I do love him. How am I supposed to be with him if he doesn't appreciate me or care about me. I can't make him feel sth towards me that he doesn't. I can't make him care

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    • I would cut all connection. I tried but we work together and in the same office

    • That's some bad luck but can u still try to ignore him? and if u need to talk to him or ask him for something officially just use the least words possible and dont look at him... And the rest u know i think... The whole ignore and cut him out of your life thing... Hey one more thing... If u need to ask something more or any more help u can message me directly on gag right.. I feel like we have been communicating like this from ages... Its a little slower... Your choice... by the way... Im cool anyway

  • It will never be easy but you have to do it for you. Tell him he'll always have a special place in your heart, but you have to get out.

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    • Make sense. I am just waiting to be sure that I can handle it. Next month will be my birthday and some how I feel he will forget and not do anything. This is how I will be sure it is the end

What Girls Said 4

  • Ah, I've been here. Eventually he was just like, I'm breaking up with you cause I know it's what you want, and I felt really relieved when it happened.

    Anyway, if he's not going to do it and you can't do it in person, just do it via text and explain you can't do it in person, you're sorry it's a text but it's the best thing for you. Offer to met and discuss but be firm with yourself that you will not go back! Good luck

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    • Additionally, if you really really don't wanna break up right now, maybe just wait a little longer. The more he is unfulfilling the more you will want out and it'll make it easier on your heart

    • I am going to wait one more month. It will be my birthday next month and this will be my end point. If he did nothing and forgot I will be so angry and realise it is really the end

  • You need to put on your big girl pants, and think about yourself and do what is right for YOU. I know it's hard but stand firm and don't change your mind of look back. Know you're making the right decision

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  • First, you have to consider that us it his personality or what. If it's not go ask him why. But I know it's hard and it's too straight to ask that. My relationship is like yours too 😒 and my boyfriend also cheating on me. but this will be the last time I'll give him another chance. He promised not to do it ago. And about you, if you still love him I suggest you have to discuss about your relationship with him and I f you don't just tell him how you feel and want to move on.

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    • I discussed it with him before. First he admitted he is being an ass and that he is not giving me attention I deserve. But he then said he doesn't want to leave me and that he loves me to death and will never forget me. And its up to me now whether I stayed with him or leave him

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    • It depends on you 😇
      Ask yourself is you're strong enough to leave him yet. If the answer is yes, go straight and open up to him that you can't stand on his behavior toward you. Open up what you really feel about your relationship, what you really feel from what he did, how much pain you got from him. And everything can't be back like it used to because you're already got a chance and we had talk about it but you still the same. Tell hime that and just leave. You're already try your best. Always tell yourself that you're survive from that cold hearted guy who doesn't deserve your trying and didn't see your value.

    • That makes complete sense

  • Even tho you break down and cry face to face just let the tears roll, you can't cry forever so just wait til they stop then continue the conversation

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