Is it really over, should I move on?

My husband moved out about a week and a half ago to stay with a friend. I can't get in touch with him sometimes and when I do call him he is very nasty to me and he curses me to filth like I am trying to bother him. I just get off of the phone and cry. There were things that led up to him leaving, like our communication skills. It's just that he did me pretty dirty and needs to remain married for immigration. I did threaten that I would divorce him, but he keeps telling me a sob story about how he cannot go back to his country and how he'll never see his little brother and sister who was born here. This wasn't an immigration marriage. We did marry for love and we had love for eachother, but now he acts like he hates me. He didn't give me a warning and basically told me that he'll be away for awhile. I've been in bed crying for weeks already and lost so much weight because of stress and not eating. Why is he doing this to me? I feel like I'm stuck. Stuck in a home by myself, a place that was once so filled with love and happiness. We planned so many things together and it's almost like he changed over night NO LIE. He would have never done this ever. He was always so caring. He tried to explain to me that he still cares for me and wants to work on our friendship, but working on a friendship isn't ignoring me and cursing at me when I finally get in touch with him just to see how he is doing. I feel like I'm being used. I'm still so young (23) and beautiful. He was emotional unavailable for awhile now and he works about two jobs. It was his choice. I'm a college graduate working on my career and was making more than him, but because his ego is so big, he needed to have financial superiority over me. I'm so scared that he's lost love for me because I still love him dearly and I still want him to come back to me. Is it time to move on? It's been only a week and maybe 4 days and I only spoke to him twice and he's came by twice to pick up clothes.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People do not change overnight. He is showing you things that were there for a long time but he hid them. I really think that he used you for immigration purposes and kept up an act. Now he is spiteful and mean to you, and only talks about really caring and love when you threaten to divorce him.

    You do not need this drama. And if he came back it would still be a lie. Move on. Let him fight his own immigration battles. You need to be away from him so you can have an honest loving relationship with a guy who really appreciates you.

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    • A lot of what he is telling has to do with him 'finding himself'. He told me that he wasn't happy with himself because of his traumatic childhood.

    • And all that stuff in his childhood was with him when he met you, so it is probably just an excuse. but regardless of the reasons, you do not need this. Move on.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • No offense but I feel like he completely used you. And he is limiting your potential-something a good partner would never do! I would move on because he really seems emotionally checked out. I mean its only been a week or so, so time will tell, but overall your best bet is to start moving on and going through the motions of a break up. It sucks when its this serious but don't wait around for someone who can change their mind that quickly on you. If he was as serious as he said, he would at least be answering his phone and trying to work something out. Good luck, girl, you're so young and have time to find one even more amazing for you out there. Surround yourself with happy people and you will be fine.

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    • Thanks. I certainly feel like it's my best bet at this point.

  • Take the time as a breather, i know its going to be hard but let him come to you when he's ready. Yous are married, its different y oi i can't just leave. Marage is hard and tajes a lot of work. Just give hin time to calm down and gather himself.

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