Why does my ex always blame everything on me?

So we split in 2013 . He didn't take me out , would leave me in his house to go out if I didn't want sex. Would insult my appearance , laugh at me. Show me pics of exes. Threaten to leave me if I didn't give sex then tell me not to text much or he will stop talking to me. Tell me he loved me when I was on nights out. Admitted he never did.

Dumped me on second date via phone cus he wanted to pursue rap career. Which never even kicked off. Told me he already got someone else ages ago. i was a good girlfriend too good to him. Topped phone up , travelled 5 hours to visit him, tried being friends after he hurt me an destroyed my confidence.

He was not one bit romantic or caring an it was all about what he could get out of it. He would say oh my brother is getting some an my cousin. Something a little kid would say. He was 22 so in boys world 12 years old an very much acted like an immature idiot a lot.

I met his mom not by choice but in her home. He's even been to jail for Gbh an really is a vile person. He has so many issues that are still there now no acknowledgment of his wrong doing but he constantly says I did this an that wrong. only thing I did wrong was putting up with him for 2 seconds longer then I should.

When it ended contact cut after few days year or so later he pops up like Shan.. I'm like wtf you ended it why bother. Fishing to see if I'm taken asking if I did ever get over him like there was something to get over. Can't get over his behaviour that's all lol. Disgusting human being. He didn't like when I said I was taken at that time. An had to go one up saying his girlfriend is pregnant but she wasn't it was a lie as I've found out now.

He even offered to take me for a meal an travel to see me but never did when we dated. He even said we was never together we was just a thing. So he had no respect whatsoever for himself or me.
Then I cut contact he said I'm childish an bitter but its m


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's honestly pretty disgusting like you said and I don't think it's worth wasting your precious time thinking about him. He's obviously drooling over you and wants you, but doesn't know how to express it. I wouldn't give him another change as he's already shown his true colors and will only repeat or get worse from here. There's a very slim chance I may be wrong though:)

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    • He's got back in touch three times now but still refuses to admit it's because he realised what he had before he messed it up an ditched me. Not that I want him to say it but it would be better to be honest but he's incapable of that which shows me he isn't a real man an certainly doesn't deserve a chance again. Lol thanks your so right I pity him πŸ˜‚πŸ˜“

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    • Deep down he dearly wishes that you were next to him... but he's too immature to see why you're not. lol. Anyways, moving on ;)

    • Yeah he's an absolute idiot an yeah life goes on

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • He has shown you that he is an idiot. Why are you asking why he blames everything on you? It's obvious isn't it? You are LETTING him! That's why!
    It's important that you keep guys like him out of your life. If you keep him in your life then you can expect to get more heartache.

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    • I don't let him blame it on me I retaliate but he has issues so I can't change him I did what I could but he's out my life now for good cus had enough I don't have heartache as I don't feel anything for him thanks anyway

    • That is good to hear! You deserve better!
      You obviously have compassion in your heart I hope you find the right guy who deserves you.

      And by the way, @aoifeislovable is right what she said about you

    • Thanks a lot πŸ˜ƒ maybe one day I'll find my special one. Ah thanks very much super kind of you

  • The same reason everyone always tries to find someone else to point the finger at:

    It's easier to blame someone else and go about your day than it is to admit you're flawed and work on improving yourself.

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  • it sounds like you two are just not a match. Move on and let his problems not be your problems any longer. I have known a few women like this in my time. They never changed.

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  • You do realize 2013 was two years ago, right? Take a powder.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Wow, that is a lot of drama. More then I can handle. Maybe he wanted sex only. As he didn't do anything romantic or "girlfriend/boyfriend" like with you. Because most of what I've read was he wanted sex sex sex and more sex. He didn't want you to text him a lot, you had to stay home when he was out. And really only came to you for pretty much sex.

    He is an emotional, unstable train wreck. And I think he lashed out (verbally) he's failures to you (on you). He thinks you are probably the reason why his not doing well, I don't know. Sounded like a toxic relationship "thing" whatever you guys called it.

    I think him messaging you was to see if you are still hooked on him or found someone else. I really hope you find someone that treats and loves you like a princess.

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    • Yeah he messed my head up no unfortunately still not met anyone I've had boyfriends since him 2 but didn't work out. Yeah he's very unstable with a lot of issues. He's not doing good cus he let a good girl leave his life now he's too stupid to admit so I won't ever want him again as he's poisonous an soul destroying. Never knew one person could bring such drama

    • That does make sense. It's best to leave such situations. I think give yourself time to heal and get your mind out of that mindset that this ex has put you in. A healthy spiritual you will be good for a new relationship (if you want one) you can't really start a healthy relationship if you, yourself aren't healthy (mentally/emotionally). Just take a break from the whole dating scene.

    • We split ages ago but he got in touch this year. I've been single ages and will not let him stop me from dating and moving on not a chance. im starting dating again and seeing what happens. He's the unstable one dear not me but thanks anyway

  • he hasn't yet been able to get over his breakup with you

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  • Sounds like he wanted a scapegoat, and found that you were just easy to blame. Which isn't why you should be. Your obviously the stronger one and if he just thought that it was a 'thing' obviously he wasn't mr. Right. Trust me he'll look back on every thing he did one day, and he's going to wish he didn't let you go, all because he was being stupid. Sometimes it's best to see people's true colors like that, rather than seeing it later.

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  • He has issues, obviously it's not your fault

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    • And for the record your gorgeous...

    • Yeah serious ones. He actually made me have a break down after we split an when he got in touch I felt panicked an on edge. Aw thanks Hun so are you ☺️

  • Don't give a shit about these kind of men. THey love blame game, so they blame it on us and they just hate being held responsible for so and so issue.. Jerks!

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  • I think you're the one that got away. Do everything you can to ignore him and never go back because he sounds like an absolute wasteman

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  • Cut all contact with him and move on. Over time, you will feel better.

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