Is there a way to stop liking a crush that you are pretty sure doesn't like you back?

I don't want to like him anymore. It makes me a little sad. But I can't help it when I get butterflies every time he walks into the room. Its just a little frustrating because I'm pretty sure he doesn't return the feeling.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The girl who said you need closure is right on.

    Sometimes we'd rather have someone just tell us, LOOK, I DON"T LIKE YOU, rather than trying to analyze every body movement and word they say to us for whether it's moving in the direction we want.

    I know it's frustrating.

    It still happens to women in their 40's like me. Trying to decipher what he meant by a gesture is a huge frustration! : )

    If there is any advice I can lend it's this...

    Sometimes the reason someone is not attracted to us is due to factors beyond our control. It doesn't mean we're not pretty or smart or funny enough. Most of the time it IS the other person. They don't feel the connection that we see. I'm sure you've felt that way too, where someone may like you and you're not feeling them for whatever reason.

    Remember that if you spend time focusing on this wrong guy, you are going to miss all the opportunities for the "right" guy, because your head is swirling in the "what might have been".

    You might want to look up the "law of attraction" with regard to love and really understanding what it is you are seeking. This has helped me to isolate and list what it is I'm specifically looking for. If you are honest with yourself, and want (for example) to be with someone who can intelligently talk about music and politics, emotionally available for a relationship, and is a specific faith, good with finances, close to family, loves animals, etc, then you will have a real list of the deep (not superficial) qualities that you are looking for, and can evaluate each guy against your list. You may find that this guy "not being into you" is the universe's way of telling you that he doesn't meet your requirements for long term goals and is "helping" you to move on.

    It's just a thought.

    If you're still into the "just go out and have fun mode", and not wanting to think about relationships, then perhaps you need to find someone who is in the same place (emotionally) that you are also.

    good luck.

    • Thanks you! Both of these answers were very helpful. One thing that attracted me to this guy is that he does meet a lot of the requirements as far as Christian values and similar life goals. He's also not bad looking ;). But I also know what you mean about the feelings just not being there for him. I did go through the exact same thing but opposite with another guy who really liked me and I just didn't like him. He asked me why and all I could say was that it just wasn't there. So maybe this ...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah find another boyfriend and cut relationship with this guy, if that's what you really want, some people like to suffer or make worse mistakes.


What Girls Said 1

  • your pretty sure he doesn't like you back, but that sounds like you don't know for certain. it may be that you need closure or confirmation of his lack of feelings toward you before moving on. maybe you should find out if you can, that way you can move on knowing for certain. it will still hurt for a while, but someone great will come along and you'll forget all about him, believe me. you have nothing to loose by asking him and it may also help you to move on and find someone else sooner rather than later, rather than dwelling on what might of been.

    • the same thing here. I really want to find out for sure but I was afraid of any awkwardness that might come with it because we go to the same church and group acivities. I guess it still wouldn't hurt to find out. Thank you both. (This comment is continued from above. They wouldn't let me finish it all up there lol)

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