Im 20 years old, its currently June, me and my girlfriend of nearly 3 years broke up in October and I'm still fucked up - but its not like I miss her or want her or anything like that. It's different. I feel like a different person and I feel as though i've lost myself.
I'll try to keep it as short and detailed as possible because of the character limit but here's what happened.
We went on a break to try and fix things and make them fresh again. 2 weeks into the break I visited her at her college telling her I wanted her back but she said she wanted to wait until the break was over - Until Thanksgiving. I noticed she was acting different and distant, and looking back on it , i was in a very weak state when I went to see her. I stayed the night and we had sex, but I left in the morning. Still on break
A week later I couldn't take it anymore, I called and gave her an ultimatum, "if you haven't had sex with anyone yet I need you back and i don't want to put our relationship at risk anymore" She told me she hadn't had sex with anyone, she wanted to get back together, and She'd call me later and we could talk about it. I was so very happy and relieved.
She called later, and we talked lovey dovey and friendly for about 5 minutes before she told me she lied. I was instantly broken, felt betrayed, and empty inside. I hung up. (End of October)
Time passes it's now Christmas. I tell her i want to see her. Inside I thought to myself I'm giving her and myself a chance to see if we could ever work out again. We hang out, and I find out she's been with 6 guys since we broke up, (me, nobody- i've only had sex with her at this point- she was my first, i wasn't hers) - i also find out she lied, and she'd already had sex with someone before I came to visit her after 2 weeks into the break, when we ended up having sex. That hurt.
Now it's summer , and I still don't feel like myself since she broke me. I'll finish i up in the first comment.
Most Helpful Girl
Ohkay hun look you have got to stop thinking about her. Stop replaying these last couple months over and over in your head. Your never going to really know why it didn't work out and it's not your fault it didn't. All this time your spending sulking in the fact that she hurt you , is more time you spend thinking about her. You have to stop. Secondly , it's ok that your not who you once were. After a heart break like that , no one is. Trust me I know. But instead of being upset about it , allow it to make you a better person. Grow from it , you have to let it push you in a positive not a negative way. The friends with benefits yeah not good , you can't achieve love from something like that and you don't really love yourself right now so how could you accept it if someone did love you? Right now just start learning to love yourself again. Trusting people can come as a gradual thing later. No it won't be easy but it'll happen. Just get out of your head. Your your own worst enemy. The shitty thoughts you think about yourself and people do have a big role in this. It gets easier though. I was cheated on and had to go through this process myself and still am , it's gotten better. You can message me anytime if you want :)0
Most Helpful Guy
just dont fuck with girls like that anymore. dont let em have your heart. period. thats a terrible idea, they're too fucking irresponsible. take tupacs advice; we need to go back to the penitentiary days and start jacking off, we need to start saying fuck these bitches man, cause hoes get horny and niggas die. now maybe thats an exaggeration but i know hundreds of men and we all feel the same, there hasn't ever been a woman who didn't fill our life with only strife, and we've tried it again and again, repeating the same pattern as you and we don't have anything else to show for it. now i dont know if women are just inherently evil or if they are just bred this way by modern culture all i know is there's only so many times i can get burned before i stop touching the stove. stick to sex, their bodies are the only thing worth a damn and if it comes with strings send it right back where it came from cause you dont want it. don't take promises, cause they're empty, don't take hopes for the future cause they're littered in lies, don't pony up anything you can't risk losing immediately with nothing to show for it return, and dont give a third strike to girls who waste the second0