Why is my ex contacting me? Would love your advice.

Broke up with me a month ago after 4 months together as he went back to his ex before me who he was with for 3 years. He tried to ask for "a break", but I wasn't prepared to wait around. He seemed genuinely distraught when we broke up, there was no need for him to act to spare my feelings as I acted very cool, calm and nice about it. he emailed the next night saying he was upset but I just replied that I was sorry to hear he was upset. He slept with her that w/end and suddenly are engaged. He has been trying to chat to me on msn and emailed me group jokes, as well as making comments to me on fb. Does a guy bother wanting to be 'just friends' with an ex as recent as me? Or do you think he's just trying to get a reaction out of me? I've pretended the whole time that I don't care.

3 months now and this guy is STILL trying to chat on fb and sending me new group email between us & 5 mutual friends. I don't want him back, but curious - do you think he's not so sure of things with the fiance? I don't instigate contact at all. Weird.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a confused, selfish, immature douchebag who wants what he can't have and tries to slither out of the accountability for his actions. You're doing right with the tough girl "so what" act. Stick with it and ignore him utterly. It'll only draw him closer at first, but in the end he'll see that his actions come with consequences.

    Just don't let that emotional shut down become part of your routine with men.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He's playing you. Why would an engaged man contact a former girlfriend?

    He's -- at the very least -- being unfaithful. This is dishonesty.

    There are _so_ many guys who play this game... Trying to have more than one girlfriend at a time.

    It's despicable.

    You're lucky that you're not his fianceƩ. How would you feel if you were his fianceƩ and he played around like this?


    • Amen to that +1 for you Ted.

    • Thanks guys/girl, all great input! I've been responding to emails with 1-liners because I thought it showed greater indifference than ignoring him, but I've proven my point & will start ignoring. Just 1 question tho - may sound silly, but wot is "playing you"? Is it playing with my feelings for a) a laugh, b) attention & ego boost, c) backup plan, or all of the above? Just never quite understood the definition of "playing you"!!! What are your definitins?

  • He get's back with his ex, they get engaged, and he's still trying to have be friends with you. He's playing games with you. Do you want to still be a part of this guys life? If not, then don't pretend that you don't care. Tell him how you feel about the whole situation and that you don't want to hear from him again. Even if you want to be friends, you still have to be honest and put him in his place because he's playing some kind of game with you and it's confusing you.


What Girls Said 1

  • honestly I think that he is trying to play you I would continue to not care and then ignore him. find someone else.


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