I love her too and I don't want things to end but I keep getting images of her.

OK I met this girl in December, we became friends.

I properly kissed her in January. Nothing happened after that, still friends. I kissed her again in February and around late Feb an the whole of march we started meeting up on our own from then on and started having sex in April.We never spoke of going out and didn't talk about whether we wanted one another to stay faithful, but the feeling was there. The truth is I couldn't get it up at first when we first started trying to have sex. I felt terrible and a month later I see messages she's sent another boy talking to him an old friend of hers. Her best friend then starts dating a boy that is friends with the boy she's been messaging so basically groups of those boys and groups of the girl I'm talking about who's now my girlfriend friends.So then I confront her about it after the 2 groups start meeting up. She tells me she only got off with this boy once who I ask her about. At this point I'm disgusted and I don't know what to think of her but don't argue with her too much or leave her at that mainly because of the fact I was such a failure in the bedroom. A week later we have proper sex and she tells me she'd never ever cheat on me and from then on its been great although she did stay in contact with the boy for a while. Later I force her to call up this boy and tell her she isn't interested. I know she did this because I saw the text she sent. But now my problem...after months of great sex and great times the fact she betrayed me like that has kind of crept up on me and now I can't help but be rude to her even when she loves me so much. I love her too and I don't want things to end but I keep getting images of her getting off with that boy back when I thought I was hers.. I don't know what to do? I'm sure I can get over it I have a strong character..help PLEASE thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • She cheated- Game over... *Power plug is pulled*

    When someone cheats on you, subconsciously you feel drained of energy because you are trying to (over)analyze why exactly they did that. It doesn't matter. There is no need to analyze anything further than "She cheated". That is where you walk.

    Imagine 10 years down the road with this woman. You have kids, your married, and she's sleeping with your... wait what? EXACTLY - the picture doesn't fit! Keep in mind that life rarely throws us exactly what we want - but the last thing this world should be throwing us, is an exception that cheating is acceptable.

    Take it from me and move on before you get even more emotionally attached to this woman. You will feel much more comfortable with someone new, especially where there is no tension of repeating cycles (her cheating).

    If you need anything else to clarify "literally anything" - then she has been manipulating you, which isn't healthy anyways |OR| you have a self confidence issue, which men rarely like to admit because, stereotypically, we are supposed to be "rock hard" with our emotions and feelings. Either way - you should be able to be yourself and have someone appreciate you for that.

    Move on man, it's highly advised in this scenario,

    Best regards,



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What Girls Said 1

  • Ok, so let's back the blame train up and look at this situation from afar. The both of you were friends. Things happened and some sporadic kissing went on over the span of several months. Then you start having platonic sex together with no specific relationship agreed upon or discussed.

    So, basicly you jumped the gun on this one, buddy. You started having sex before the both of you sorted out your feelings for each other and became girlfriend/boyfriend or just agreed to be Friends with Benefits. With nothing discussed, your girl felt like she wasn't in an actual relationship, so she didn't see it as cheating or hurtful to have sex with the other guy. You should see it the same way. You weren't in a bonafide relationship so anything goes. If you want to have a lasting relationship with this girl, then you are just going to have to bury the hatchet on this one, because if you don't, the only thing that is for certain is that it will be the center of a lot of future arguments and will drive a permanent wedge between the two of you, which can ultimately end the relationship altogether at any future point.

    To help get over this, you should sit down and talk to her about this and how it has made you feel. You need to establish what kind of a relationship this is before you go any further!

    • I disagree at talking - the best thing to do would be to walk away. If she found a reason to have sex with other men, regardless if there was any "verbally agreed" relationship, then there is something in the back of her head saying "It's not quite gonna fulfill what I need".

      This in turn means that things don't need to be talked about - they don't need to be resolved. What needs to happen is that both parties live their own life. She likes what she likes, and you expect otherwise QA.

What Guys Said 2

  • Let it go or break up with her. You're being very immature about her percieved infidelity. Why did you force her to make that call? If you plan to have a happy relationship, you have to stop trying to control her. She'll get tired of it and leave you. You have to let it go. If you keep behaving like this, you're never going to have a healthy relationship. You can't force your partner to be faithful; cross that bridge when you come to it.

  • You weren't specific, when did she get together with this boy?


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