I don't want to lose myself, my dignity and sanity... Every day is so hard being in this limbo.
Should I continue "no contact"? He doesn`t contact me, though.
I'm sorry you are going through this. He definitely seems confused. At first I wondered if he had met someone during his travels with work. Either that or he thought it might be nice to be single and be able to play while he was away from home.
On the other hand, he could just be mentally and physically exhausted with no time for him having his own space. With him working as many hours as he does and only having a small amount of time to be off work, spend time with you and get things done around the house aside from work, he has zero time for himself. That may sound selfish, but I can understand that reasoning for him needing a break.
There's no doubt he cares about you and likes being around you, and maybe therapy will help him organize his thoughts and help him realize what he really wants, because he's definitely not helping you by breaking things off, then contacting you for intimate gatherings and weekend sex. The relationship start out sexual, and maybe there's something inside his mind that has held him back from deeply committing to you.
You can give him more time, but I'm happy you placed boundaries not allowing him to just do what he wants. His breaking things off and telling you he doesn't feel what he used to is very hurtful, and it's insulting for him to be wishy/washy with your feelings by trying to have you see him at his convenience.
I hope you can work things out, but mostly I hope they work out in your favor, whether you get back together or make a complete split and move on. It's no doubt going to take you time to heal, but if he's going to continue giving you mixed signals, perhaps it's best for you to tell him you'd rather him leave you alone and move on, because that's an awful lot of emotional rolling around he's doing to you right now.
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