Girls, would you rather have child support or for the father of your children to have a bigger part in their lives?

pick ONE ONLY and explain why, please!


1|0
15

Most Helpful Girl

  • The second option. Money can't buy parenting opportunities and memories of one's children. My boyfriend's parents divorced when he was young, and his dad passed away 4 years ago. His mother was the primary caregiver, but his dad made an effort to be in his life despite divorce. My boyfriend talks to me about his dad all the time. I never had the honor of meeting his dad, but I'm so thankful he made a positive impact on his son's life. His mother did an amazing job raising her son, but from what my boyfriend tells me, I wish I could've met his dad too.

    3|1
    0|0
    • at least you can get to know him in the way your boyfriend does. it may be small, but he can help his father live through both of you.

    • Oh, but of course! He's always comparing himself to his dad and that makes me smile. Thanks for the reminder!

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 14

  • Child support and child visitation are not mutually exclusive. My understanding is that if a non-custodial parent isn't paying the child support the court says they must pay, that does not mean the custodial parent can break the agreed upon visitation schedule by keeping the children away from visiting the non-custodial parent. The children are to have access to both parents in their lives, regardless of the financial issues of paying or not paying support. The kids have NOTHING to do with the $$. Now, eventually, if support is not paid long enough, the law will catch up with the non-custodial parent, so sitting in jail for not paying will also keep someone from seeing their children.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm not sure why anyone should have to pick, both parents need to pay for their children's needs, you don't get a pass for supporting your children financially just because you two are no longer together.

    That being said I don't want kids and I would never even have kids if I wasn't able to financially support them alone since so many people leave their children's lives these days especially. Even if he didn't pay any child support I would want him to be involved in his children's lives as much as possible.

    2|0
    0|0
    • when I had my daughters, I had a solid career and made 43k a year. so the "don't have them if you can't afford them" argument is completely irrational. however I love that you are insistent on the non-custodial parent has as much interaction with the children as possible. more power to that!

    • Well children require more then what you make at the present time they are born lol and by that I don't mean you need to be rich to have kids but you need to be able to support them by a reasonable amount.

      I think parents get into way too many arguments with each other and then hold kids away from one parent or the other for financial needs or grudges and it's so petty, it just shows me that they hate the person they had kids with more then they love their children, people like that shouldn't have kids in the first place lol

  • If he is forced to be a part of their lives and he doesn't put effort into it - so basically he does the BARE minimum - then I'd rather the child support so I can be with a man who will treat them like they're worth it and not an obligation.

    But if he genuinely wants to be a part of their lives, and ENJOYS spending time with them, then I'm all for that instead of any child support.

    2|0
    0|0
    • precisely the stand I wish more women would take. I'm not saying that I shouldn't support my daughters and I do as best as I can by buying absolute needs, but my ex refuses to take anything I buy and insists on only cash, which the judge has made clear is what's important. I just want to see my children every minute of every day and living in the same town to make the viable is a BAD IDEA because of her drama she forces on me. I just want my kids.. how can that be wrong?

  • If he is a good father and truly cares for his children then I much rather him being present in their lives then child support. However he should definitely still help financial especially if the children primarily live with mom. He should be helping with the needs of the child, food , clothing, shoes, school supplies, anything the child needs or wants to be part of. My oldest daughters father isn't around and is suppose to pay child support but I hardly ever see a dime. It upsets me because that's money I can be using to put her into sports or into her education. It isn't fair for the child.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It would depend on whether he is a good father, or a shitty father, and whether or not he actually wants to be part of their life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends to what extent. Will the child suffe seriously without child support, will he be a responsible, caring father?

    If the child is going to be okay without the additional financial support I. e not living below poverty line, getting a good education, the things other children have, then I would go with the father.

    If the Child was going to suffer without the financial support or the father was a deadbeat, then I'd take the money. Money will get them further in life. I also grew up with out a father so it turns out okay.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on him. If he is bad influence, like curses in every sentence, etc, then I would rather have the child support.

    But if he is a good guy, then the second.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I would much rather have my sons father to be a bigger part of his life over the child support. right now my son doesn't get any support and has only seen his dad a handful of times throughout his life and in the end money doesn't matter to me because i can handle that on my own and i chose to keep my son when his dad was very open with not wanting a kid after it all happened. the fact that my son misses out on that bond is much more heartbreaking for him and a burden for me having to constantly explain why his daddy isn't around.

    0|0
    0|0
  • can't exactly know this without knowing the circumstances surrounding such a terrible situation.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well it depends does that bigger part also include money. Because having him around is great but when they haven't eaten lunch or dinner for three days I'm not going to care.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The latter... but I don't have children... lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Bitch please, your time with them does not buy them clothes, and they are growing out of clothes every other week.
    So be a good dad and support your KIDS, and be there for them.
    You can pay for their love. You are either there for them (emotionally AND financially) or you aren't.

    SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You can't pay for their love

    • Show All
    • You're missing the point. It's not one or the other. You need to be there for them, emotionally and financially. Buy things for your kids that they need, and be there when they hurt themselves.
      I am not a money hungry person, at all. Money doesn't buy your kids love- being there for them does. And yes they need support financially, you're paying for your KIDS not the mom.
      So get your shot straight before you tell me about my life. My mom is dead and my parents were the best ever to me, even though we were poor.
      So be a good dad- end of story.

    • the question said to pick ONLY ONE. you haven't done that, but many others didn't. however they did reason one against the other like indicated. so your unwillingness to answer the question states that you can't identify one or the other, hence your continued reason to "prove you're right and no one else is" when I've challenged you. end of your point to the question - I appreciate a good debate on both sides, but I hadn't asked to have someone completely miss the point of the question over and over like you have. so be a good member and do what the question asks, or don't answer - end of story.

  • The second one because a good relationship is invaluable, money is money... sure it can provide a good life but what is that really worth if my kid doesn't feel like it has parents that love it?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Both I want to have their father figure in their life

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...