Why is when your getting dumped the person that is doing the dumping always says "it not you its me"?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh, I wish I knew.

    My boyfriend said, It wasn't working out, he wasn't good enough for me.

    I was like oh don't give me that "its not you its me" crap.

    It is such a Lie, he was the best I could ever want.

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    • And what really sucked is he did not even give me a reason....all he kept saying was I can't keep feeling like this but he would not say anything more.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There can be many reasons for anyone to terminate a relationship. The only certainty is that s/he is not happy. For a guy (same as girl), it can be because he finally figured out the kind of girl he wants, and she isn't. If this is the case, it would be true that "it is him, and not the girl".

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  • So they can cheap their way out of explaining why they are really breaking up with you.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Ah...I've asked myself this before, but have been both the dumper and the dumpee at a time in my life. I think it's the dumper's desire not to "hurt" the dumpee, and also avoid discomfort and confrontation.

    If the dumper takes the blame, the dumpee can't be "mad"...

    As a dumpee, I can also read through that line, and it feels condescending, like we would be so distraught by the break up, so they are doing us a favor by lessening the blow.

    Improved self-esteem and sense of accomplishment often reduce the "sting" of words like that, but they seem to come as a surprise, don't they?

    It's not fun either way ya slice it. Sorry it happened to you...but just know, there are bizzilions of us dumpees out here that know EXACTLY what you're feeling.

    good luck.

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    • Yeah it did come as a surprise to me....thanks, I know there are.

  • they think it softens the blow.

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  • thats always the case. actually I've never heard that in real life. and when people do use it its because its a crutch and they don't want to admit the truth

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  • I just broke up with my boyfriend...and it truyly wasn't him. It was me having feelings for someone else. I did feel like I should keep dating him if I cared for someone else.

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  • cause he doest wanna hurt you more than you are getting hurt

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