Why do men not fight for their girl?

In the heat of the moment I finoshed our relationship. He didn't fight for me and still hasn't tried.
Is he scared as to what my reaction will be?
Is he not bothered about me?

Updates:
Thank you for your comments. I have realised that after talking in my depth with some people that he has his issues and I have mine. Im going to concentrate on my self and our children from now on. Thank you for your help

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It'd be helpful to know what the situation was because a relationship doesn't mean he has to agree with you on everything but if it was a situation where you were being made fun of or picked on then both of you should be telling the "bully" off and getting out of there.

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    • Ok history been together for 15 years have give children. He like drink and drugs every weekend all weekend sometimes forgwys to come home Other women have been involved in our relationship mostly when we have parted.
      I love to spend time as family I go out every few month. I pay for everything. Iv supported him through jobs boken leg broken kee car crashes helped him with money.

      All I wanted was for one night for him not to go out to support me

    • That is horrible. That's just so wrong and messed up. I can understand you gave the whole thing a try and continued to support him but when drugs get involved it's typically not going to work. It sounds like he didn't even try to keep his part of the relationship up at all. You were right in leaving after all that, the whole thing just shouldn't have happened.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • Guys don't want to fight to get girls back because they ended it. Why would we try if we knew you didn't want us? If you ended it it's over, and he knows you probably won't take him back. Guys don't fight for their ex's because it comes off as controlling, creepy, and is usually not needed or wanted. How do you expect a guy to know you want him back and that he should try to get back with you? By the sounds of it you don't even want him back so why do you want him fighting to get you? Why are you so hung up over it if you don't want him back in the first place?

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  • Why would he need to fight for you? Are you that self-centered that you want the person you supposedly loved to do that because you couldn't handle a situation like an adult?

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  • It does not mean that he does not like you or want you back. Because honestly there is no reason to fight for someone who will that easily walk out of your life.

    You ended when you should not have. It was your mistake and now its up to you to fix it. Talk to him and let him know you are sorry.

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    • Iv said sorry his reply was you don't need to apologise to me. Never be sorry to me or anyone else

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    • Iv just askes now if I get no reply I will take that as a yes and move on

    • Ok good, that's the only thing you can do. Good luck

  • Probably because whatever you were arguing over actually made him want to break up with you.

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  • Mmbecause... Chivalry is dead. Children are being raised by a society that is sans moral compass and a set of moral values. The majority of people no longer hold faith in anything greater than sex, money, or self. Therefore, they seek only to serve sex, money, or themselves and nothing else. To defend someone else requires one to desire selflessness...

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  • Stop playing games, you are the one that ended it, if you still want him, then you should take the initiative after ending it.

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  • because it's not always best decision, I remember that as much as I wanted to fight for my last one it simply was the best thing at the time.

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  • Because when we do you tell us we are pushy and possessive and that you want your space. You gals don't get to have it both ways. Whatever we do, you get mad at us. If you want him to fight for you then that means you left him, and yet you want him to stay. That's ridiculous. Usually, girls like you want your guy to give up everything for you, but where would that leave your guy? I think you just need some time for yourself to figure out what you want out of life. Good luck.

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    • I think its best for me to stay on my own to. Iv never asked him to give everything but children and partners should come before friends drink and drugs

    • I concede to that. Best of luck to you.

  • OK no man wanta to grovel for anyone. Unless they truly love you. So he might like you but not love you. then he might not know how to express him self you know. Like he might be giving the situation some space that his way of dealing. Witb the situation. Or he might not wanna be in a relationship with you.

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  • You broke it off. Never going back is a good policy for a guy as you will break it off again. Done is done.

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  • Probably because he didn't want to get the relationship back.

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  • Why? Why do women need to pull these stunts? If you're over me you shouldn't care.

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  • Because he was already half way out the door. Guys often emotionally check out of relationships before the actual break up. He left you a long time ago.

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  • Is this a fight with someone else? If so I wouldn't help her unless she aske dme too. she's a big girl, she can handle herself but obviously im there if she NEEDS me

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  • You ended the relationship, so he is on to the next one (as you should be, too!)

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    • Yeah he sure is. Within a week. I would like to make sure im over my 14 year relationship before jump in a new relationship. But hay guys are guys.

  • because he isn't a puzz.

    Props to him!!

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  • Maybe because you dumped him. Maybe because you won't fight for him. Maybe because your not worth fighting for. So if you want him go get him otherwise forget sbout him.

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    • I have stuck by his side through everything like a good wife. We split up abit ago he got with someone else. After time we ended up back together. I wanted a bit of support from him while doing exams and he didn't do what he said he was goinh to do so I got upset and was hurt. This is is the only time I have ever asked him for support during our long relationship

    • Honestly you are a really sad person. I understand you're frustrated because of exams, but because he isn't showing the support you want you're going to dump the guy? Get over yourself holy shit. I'm sorry but I finished a Computer Science degree without any support from females and got through university just fine. It's probably best for him everything ended, I wouldn't want to be with someone who put so much stock in something that can be easily handled by one's self.

    • Support with yhe children so I could revise like he said he would take his kids for the say then ended up the pub. Yhe kids rang and he said im not taking you no where. Tbh now im explaining more about whats happened im glad tbh kids don't need a dad like that and I don't need that in my life

  • I won't if she wants to be with another guy or just loses interest in general we just go our separate ways

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  • My guess is, he lacked conviction, though some extra details would be nice

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  • He's not "The One"! :D

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  • a man who doesn't figh for his girl is not a man

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  • If you didn't want him to leave then why say it. Maybe he doesn't care that much

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  • Unnecessary drama

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  • Maybe because trying to force a girl to stay is actually very controlling?

    Also, no point in trying to fix things when you clearly didn't want to be with him since you broke up with him.

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  • Well you ended it, why should he fight for you?
    If you want to work on your relationship then you talk it through but breaking up with someone is final so deal with it.

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    • I have tried talking to him regarding my issues but he didn't listen to my feelings just continued to please him self so it was a last resort for me. I did think that I ment something to him but obviously not

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    • I think iv just got it now. I don't want him to fight for me his drinking was our first issue. But you know what our kids come first to me. Glad I came on here now thank you

    • If he's an alcoholic then he won't seek help until he reaches a low point, the fact that he can't get his act straight when his kids are involved shows a lot about his character. You let him deal with his issues, and you take care of yourself you have other lives depending on you.

  • Probably means he was or now is kind of over it.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Why fight for someone who doesn't want to fight for you? You ended the relationship. He saw that as you telling him that you don't want to fight for him or work things out. Why should he have to come crawling on his knees to you and beg you to take him back, when you clearly wouldn't do the same for him? That's really pitiful, and nobody should do something like that. Even if it's for a person they love. They deserve more respect than that. If you still want to have a relationship with this guy, you shouldn't have broken up with him. Breaking up "in the heat of the moment" is really immature, you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place if you can't handle arguing without threatening to break up or actually breaking up.
    He respects your decision to break up and doesn't feel bothered to beg you to take him back, since he just assumes that you don't want him back. He's being logical. You are not.

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    • This should be MHO, it's 100 percent true.

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    • @KHaskins exactly. Just because he doesn't beg you and crawl on his knees for you it doesn't mean he didn't love you or that you didn't mean the world to him. It just means that he doesn't see a point in trying to reason with (beg) someone in order to fix things again. When you end a relationship, it's over. It's done. You've ENDED it. 90% of people realize that there's most probably nothing they can do about it at that point and just try to move on. When you END a relationship, don't expect a guy to act as if you never did it and that you can still work things out. This is why you shouldn't end a relationship "in the heat of the moment" if you don't actually mean it. Mean what you say and say what you mean. You can't say one thing and expect him to do something else completely. It's like telling a guy you're not interested in him and then wondering why he's not asking you out. He might still like you, but he doesn't see a point in asking you out.

    • Ok I get it

  • not bothered mostly, but if u think about it, it's also a safety mechanism. i mean, why would u fight for someone who clearly doesn't want u?

    do u really think he's gonna sit there, think like a woman and actually assume u WANT him to fight? course not. that's why theyre men. dont expect them to think like u. this is why, when u break up with one, consider their feelings.

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  • Maybe the pain is too difficult to deal with. So he cut you loose rather than be hurt further
    Not saying you cheated, but something has pained him. Its quite possible, he was in love far deeper with you, than you are with him

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    • Omg he was not inlove far deeper then I was with him. He would lie drink take drugs hang around other girls. Not come home. You don't do all that if you love someone and ignore your children

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    • He is NOT ready yet
      He's hurting. Therea a hurt coming from something...

  • You're upset you called it off and he was fine with it? Girl I'm totally jelly :P
    Lol so honestly what it means is that he was done with you, he obviously for whatever reason was no longer romantically attracted to you. If a guy likes you he's not gonna give up easily, for him to put no effort means that he's relieved it's done.
    Also you probably hurt his pride a bit.

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  • And this is why games are crap.
    He might be on to you, he might respect your decision.
    Not everyone will "fight" for it (ergo beg)
    I know I wouldn't, if he is done thats it. Moving on.

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  • I miss chivalry. Like the kind of love you find in princess movies or those badass assassin movies, too bad in real life love isn't like that. I guess he wasn't feeling it

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  • I think men do fight for their girls when they want too. Having said that its very difficult to gauge your situation without finer details. Maybe he is moving on thinking that he has no chance with you or that he doesn't have feelings for you anymore sparked by something in the relationship.

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  • He doesn't give a single f.

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  • Because you broke it off
    Not every man is going to fight

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  • You've to give more detail , It seems that you're leaving a lot out. But by reading the other comments , People are saying you broke up with him. You probably did that , Because of how he treats you. Seems to me he was cheating and doing other things so you wanted to end it , Then since he didn't fight for you. You realized you made a mistake , Now you want him back. You have to know , You can't make a person love and feel the way you do. It has to come deep within him , He's showing you by his actions he doesn't feel the way you feel about him. And kids want make a man love a woman more , If he loves you nothing will stop him from being with you. So either you will put up with the way he treats you or move on.

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  • He's relieved you ended it and now doesn't have to bother with the drama anymore.

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  • People fight for what they really want. I guess it's over.

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  • Because you're the one that ended the relationship, so he thinks you don't want him back. If you do, then ask him yourself.

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    • Iv tried to talk to him and he's ignored me. I have even askes for us to have the closure chat so we both know what happened and can move on he ignored me

    • Well then, I guess he's not interested

  • Because he never really loved her

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