How to build your self confidence after a break up?

My 14 year relationship has failed. I gave everything to my relationship and becoming a mum I lost a lot of my friends I was with a self centred person how mentally wore me down to the point of suffering from depression and anxiety. The only friends i have are my sister's and two other people. I would like to know the best things to do to build my confidence and find the person I was 14 years ago :-)

and also what guys like about women for when im ready :-)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i was also little bit depressed when i was divorced... i stayed away from alcohol because it realy influnces the feelings... just give sometime to yourself and keep your self confidence...

    and when you are ready, noone can say no to a feminen 30 years old hot woman :)... so enjoy the party :D...

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    • Oh yes im not really a drinker. Its been afew weeks now and iv been asked to go out for a drink I said no because im not ready for being out yet lol

      how are you feeling now?

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    • Thank you thats very kind of you

    • pleasure :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If he wore you down that much, you might want to get some therapy. Simply because you might need some help building yourself back up and 14 years in a bad relationship probably took more of a toll on you than you realize.

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    • I will look into it. I was feeling very low today. So I think it will be a good idea thank you

  • Make some new friends and you'd be fine. Through that you'd have many options to choose from. Most old people in your life would remind you of your past.

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    • No one I have on my life is connected to him other then my children. We have always had separate friends

  • I'm so sorry 14 years is a long time. The best advice I can give is to be yourself. I was with someone who I really cared for but she made me feel bad about myself. I'm still upset and trying to figure out what I did wrong. I was trying to commit and she was just too demanding. She never wanted me. Find someone who loves you for who you are and doesn't make excuses and finds the time to see you

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    • Iv learnt that I didn't have the problem he did. He didn't treat me with respect and honesty and with love.
      Please don't think you did wrong. The way someone treats you is a reflection of them as a person. So you stop thinking what you did wrong and start knowing what you did right

What Girls Said 2

  • What worked best for me was to consciously set a "me" time:
    do what you want to do. Stay in or go out, start that hobby you've wanted to, date casually, listen to loud music and dance alone at home. Remember how you were back in the days and start over. Listen to your gut. Get out of your confort zone.

    Don't be a certain way either to attract men. Be yourself, be secure, demand and give respect and most importantly have fun and enjoy life.

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    • I will do mu best to get myself back to how I was before him. I have well and truly lost myself to the point I believe I can't be happy without him and thats not how it should be at all. I ended up ringing him last night ans he ignored me. Silly mistake I know coz I hit rock bottom again.

    • It's hard to recover from years of emotional abuse. There is really that feeling of worthlessness. I was where you are now 3 years ago. just always remind yourself that life goes on and this is the time to reinvent yourself. You'll see, once you start focusing on yourself and what is good for you, the sadness will go away and you'll ask yourself why on earth you didn't leave sooner. Distract yourself, have fun. Do whatever the fuck you want to. Enjoy your newfound freedom!! Good luck :-)

  • Buildup on whatever friendships you have now.
    joun a dating site and practice practice practice.
    Get some new sexy clothes, get a new hair cut.
    It's time to reinvent and reinvest in yourself. Exciting times! It will come back to you, I promise
    Spoken from experience

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    • Wow you actually made me feel excited to start on making me feel good xx

    • Honest the truth.. So long as you have a survivor attitude not a defeatist one

    • Get some therapy too if needed

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