Boys and ex girlfriends.

So I met this guy a few weeks ago and he is really amazing.

He treats me really well, is super nice, and always says sweet things to me...

However, a few month ago he broke up with his ex of 6 months.

She had moved 3 hours away and had cheated on him.

He says that he doesn't have the same feelings for her anymore.

But his MySpace still has all this stuff about her and he said he feels bad about deleting it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings...

He just has all this stuff about her everywhere..and I guess it kinda bothers me? idk. it' really not a big deal.

I guess my question is for the guys out there...

Do y'all have issues with exes sometimes and do y'all like to start over with someone new, I really like him and seem to really like me.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid?




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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys are just nostalgic... I still feel a connection to every girl I've ever dated for a decent amount of time. I don't remove their pictures from my Facebook or even their pictures in my house. It doesn't mean I want to get back with them or that I love them. It just acknowledges their part in my life. I wouldn't think too much of it. The best thing you can do is just try to not let it bother you. He's with you now, not her; why would you be jealous of her? Just enjoy what you have and don't read too much into it.

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    • Do you think about the past girlfriends often then? Like, would you compare your current girlfriend to other ones you've dated, or reminisce how much you loved them, etc? Because I'm worried my boyfriend might do that too so I'd like your opinion :)

    • I don't think about them a lot, but every once in awhile, if something reminds me of them. I rarely compare previous girlfriends to my current girlfriend. I don't compare them directly; it's more like I learn lessons from each girlfriend and compare new women to those lessons (so I don't make mistakes again). When I meet a woman, I will compare her against those lessons to determine whether to date her. I've never really found myself comparing old girlfriends to my current girlfriend though.

    • Oh I see...that's smart of you! thanks for the answer.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Well if he got p*ssed that she cheated on him and he says he loves you I don't see why he can't delete the MySpace stuff and what not.

    Sure id understand if he kept a picture or two in a shoebox. But not to many things.

    I stil have a picture lying around of one of my exes. Its ben in the same clothset for years. No idea why I don't throw it out. Maybe because it was the first real love. But doesn't mean I love her. But I would never have all kind og stuff lying around if there's was another girl I loved in my life.

    I you don't like it and he loves you. Well he should remove it. And hurt her feelings? Well she cheated on him. Why care about that.

    I don't think he's over her.

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  • if it was 6 months and its been a few months you should be ok. He is lieing about being over her yes. But that doesn't mean he wants her back. I'm suprised he didn't at the least put all the stuff about her in a box but I guess he really liked her. Give it time and don't give him any you know what for a few weeks minimum (if you have already than its to late). Give him time to get used to you and if he all of a sudden doesn't want to talk or hang out let him if you act like you need him he will leave you.

    Time will tell but if her is like you say it's worth the risk

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  • Lets get some facts, it bothers you. Otherwise you wouldn't have come on here to ask it. lol. Now on to the more important things, I assume that you're not his current girlfriend right? Correct me if I'm wrong kk? Most likely he may still have some slight feelings for her, and they're probably the ones that won't go away until he completely eradicates all communication with her. Because part of him wants to move on but part doesn't because he misses the feeling. If that's the reason then get close to him and if you wanna date him don't be a really good friend. sounds hard but true. Keep me updated.

    Hope it Helps:)

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    • I am his current girlfriend lol. He says he's been wishing for someone to be happy with like me. He tells me he needs me. & from the day he set eyes on me he couldn't get me off his mind.

      Think he's bs'n ? Or being for real. haha.

    • Then just ask him to remove the photo's/ evidence of her. Then explain to him in a calm caring voice why(IMPORTANT!), it hurts you, it concerns you etc, be honest. Then again in a calm voice ask him if he would like it if you had pics of your ex (soft explanation) don't be evil with it ya know? And if he says no...then he still has feelings for her, Stay strong though kk? After the conversation if he did say no ask him, while looking directly in your eyes, does he care about you.

  • You'd do well to not get involved with this guy, in any sense, at this time because he's clearly not emotionally over his ex. keeping all that stuff on his MySpace is reminding him of what was and what he's lost. Until he gets rid of it, he's not looking forward he's looking backward. I said in any sense because if you try to be just friends it's going to make everything emotionally complicated and your feelings will develop whilst his are all mixed up and you'll potentially end with a big mess before you even begin. This site is littered with tales of such messes.

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  • Either he's a p*ssy or still has feelings for his EX. Otherwise any normal guy would remove all of that stuff, especially after being cheated on.

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  • You need to talk about it! I learned the HARD way... I dated this girl and fell for her, but she always kept in contact with her first-ex and I would get a little concerned. She would sense that and told me that it's nothing.. he's just a friend now. I believed her! Why wouldn't I.. Right? Wrong after a month or so she dumped me and guess who was back in her life.. Her ex!

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  • If she cheated on me I wouldn't give 2 sh*ts about her feelings. Honestly, tell him to put up or shut up. He must have feelings for her if he keeps her sh*t around for those reasons.

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  • She cheated on him and he still "keeps her around"? And he "doesn't want to hurt her feelings..."

    I must admit that you should be a bit concerned... You should try and talk with him about how him keeping all the stuff about his ex makes YOU feel.

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  • I've only had a boyfriend (yes another guy) and my lover (wife) and here's a story as follows.

    :BF: After dating him for 3/mo I found out he'd had another before me who he wasn't ure of his feelings for; ex-bf cheated on him with a woman and then said he still had feels, yet both kept in good contact and eventurally he addmitted he'd been cheating on me (might have been because I didn't want to have sex yet). He had a MySpace and they always were talking on it - so look into it.

    He needs to be loyal not a two-timing asshole. Loyalty is to one, not another.

    FYI: I'm straight but before you know anything, you must know both sides of the story, as well as your own.

    Hope this helps

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think that Jd is right in a lot he says, I think he still has some feeling for her, maybe not that he doesn't want to get back with her but you never know. The thing that concerns me here is that he mentioned not wanting to hurt her, what about hurting you? Why is that same respect not there?

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  • Oh my god, jealousy and being paranoid at the same time SUCK! I'm in the same sittuation but he does not mind hurting their feelings. This would make a lot more sense if I could type the entire story!

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  • i would have to agree with the guys... this guy seems to still have some residuals... I would back off alittle and make him feel comfortable with dealing withthat first before going any further with you jus so its won't become a stumbling block in the future... HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM...

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  • No your not being paranoid, he clearly has feeligns for his ex. When things are too good to be true in the beginning it usually is. If he has stuff all over about her he is NOT over her. If I were you I would not get my hopes up. I have been in your shoes before and next thing you know he kicked me to the curb to be back with his ex. This guy is using you to fill the void. Get out now! Please!

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    • I agree, my ex had pictures of his ex on his fridge. His ex came over while I wasn't there to burn a cd... one time (I only found that out from her though).

      Guess you could guess what happened next? He was back with his ex a month after dating me.

      PS: He lived with his parents -- so I was a senior in high school. But I mean, you could still relate it. High school relationships seem stupid now, but take what you want from this story.

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