How to deal with an ex with BPD?

My -now ex- has been living with me for about a yr. and 1/2, and I am at a loss regarding what to do. She has steadily done a repetitive list of things that have no particular order. 1: Compulsive lying, 2: Double standards, ie, "You can't talk to anyone about our problems," -however, she will make slighted posts about our problems on facebook, or talk to her friends about me behind my back, yet that is, "her [percieved] right." 3: Passive-aggressiveness, 4: Trying to run off my female friends, yet keeping a host of guys, including an ex of hers, in contact, and engaging in implicitly salacious conversations. 5: Having mood swings that vary between being bubbly and happy, cold and egotistical, reclusive/withdrawn/passive-aggressive, and going on to downright having 2 year old-esque shrieking, writhing, conniption fits.

This is but maybe 2/3rds of her typical behavior, however she constantly remains selfish, hypocritical, conniving, and holier-than-thou. To cut the story as short as possible, I had to call the cops on her a few weeks ago when she came to the bar I run security at, got drunk, flirted with other guys deliberately in front of me, then tried to steal my car, and she landed with a public intox/disturbing the peace charge, and now I have issued her a 2 month eviction notice.

She has since been swinging back and forth between trying to 'fix' things with me/telling me she wants me dead/threatening suicide.

How the fuck am I supposed to retain peace and quiet until the notice is up? If I leave her alone I get nagged at for "not caring," yet treating her with sympathy means I'm a condescending prick. I just want her to be civil until she leaves, because my obviously long fuse is growing rather short, and I am tired of the verbal abuse/attempted physical abuse. (She has tried to attack me in several drunken fits, yet I have merely subdued her, as opposed to giving her a dose of her own medicine. (Sorry for the shitty grammar. I ran out of space.)


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm assuming you're talking about Borderline Personality Disorder (some people use the term BPD to refer to bipolar disorder).

    Is she diagnosed? If so, does she accept the diagnosis? Would she be open to Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

    Anyway, I would recommend this book for you:


What Guys Said 1

  • If she is an unmedicated bipolar there's nothing you can do but run. People afflicted with this cruel disease hardly ever take meds for it because they think the meds make them too low but in reality the meds make them normal. They love the manic high and will suffer the lows to get the high. The meds flatten them out and that means no more manic highs. My suggestion is run


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