My ex still contacts me, I can't seem to stop him?

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up over 8 years ago, since then we both have had other long relationships but still kept in contact from time to time mostly Internet chatting but sometimes went to late night phone calls, I always questioned and wondered if he ever got over me or if I got over him. We had a chat once and talked about first love tingles whenever we see each other and that we still care for each other, but that led to a confusion moment for both of us, but got past it with time.. We can go for months to years not talking but always end up somewhere in between...Now recently I've been married but my husband has left me alone at home for 3 years while working out of town it's no excuse but I got very lonely and my ex is always there. My ex does have a girlfriend he swears to love, but he has MAJOR cheated emotionally. He talks about how if ever he'd cheated on her would only be with me, and wondered where we'd be now, He even said he went to bed thinking of us and having kids, and said that I'd be happier with him, after a week of that and more late night phone calls he went cold, complete jerk ignoring me so I had to forget and move on but was so confusing. A few months later after 8 years we decided to have coffee and catch up, but that turned out to be a mistake as for we slept together. The next morning he called me to make sure I was ok. After that happened he was a cold jerk again which was screwing me up I felt so lost in my life and had to figure things out with my husband but could never tell him what happened. After a few months of not talking with my ex he started chatting me up again but I keep falling into his spell.. We met again but for the last time.. We have such a connection I don't get, but he keeps assuring he loves his present girlfriend and wants to propose to her :S, why does he keep coming back to me in a strong way emotionally and physically, I know we enjoy each others company and get along but I feel I need to know why he does this after all these years of trying to figure it out? He even kissed me on my forehead during the evening and was sweet to me when we were together he was that guy I knew when we were together... I know what I did was so wrong and am not happy in my present marriage at the moment but working on it, but this takes over me and I don't know what to do..


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to do some serious thinking about your life and what you want.

    First of all, figure out what's going on with your husband. I agree that him being gone constantly for work is no excuse to cheat on him, but I also don't think it's very fair to you. You two should sit down and talk about your relationship and where it's going.

    Second, stop letting your ex control you. He's basically got you eating out of his hand and can seemingly get you to do whatever he wants. Tell him to stop contacting you if you're unable to resist him.

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    • I totally agree I totally need to cut all contact with him it just seems so hard to do.. but I still want to know why he does what he does, he seems to still be in love with me or is he ..!! is he just playing with me thru all these years, even though he's so scared his girlfriend is gonna find out?!! I have way to much time to think as you can see but it's really driving me crazy figuring him out..

What Girls Said 1

  • He's not in love with you; he's in love with the idea of you. You give him the attention he craves when he can't find it elsewhere( like with his girlfriend).Nothing will ever stop a man from being with the woman he loves, NOTHING, and if he loved you like he says he does, he wouldn't be bragging about his girlfriend's feelings. He has you wrapped around his finger, and he knows exacly what to do and say to make you feel obligated to him (yes obligated, cause after all these years, he's still got you going crazy over him). The only reason he keeps you around is for his benefit, not yours. Can't you see he's insecure about himself? He tells you sweet nothings to make you "gaga" over him because he lacks love for himself, so to make his ego flutter, he seeks attention from where he knows he will get it. Stop all communication with him. Delete his phone number from your address book, change your number, your email, IM, whatever it takes to cease all contact with him. He's a leech, and all he is doing is sucking the life out of you. I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful, but sometimes it takes a stranger's POV to see what your heart doesn't want to see.

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    • Haha I love it he is so a leech... thanks it's nice to have views from the outside and I totally agree he's obviously blinded me and I'm having such a hard time deleting him for a reason but I know it's what I gotta do..

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