what ways do women want security in a relationship from men? how can a man "not let his lady down"?
Most Helpful Girl
Make a tangible investment in her. Its one thing to say you'll be there forever, but its another to get married (so if you divorce she gets half of everything), to combine your checking account, and to buy a house together...etc. Its not that women are materialists, its just that money represents time and effort (I assume you earn your money) and it represents potential (you can but stuff with it). So when a guy looses or risks money on a relationship with a girl, it tells her he is thinks she is worth giving up some time, effort, and potentially a flat-screen TV. Suppose your friend buys some forclosure home and says "yup I'm going to live here for the next 20 years." But then its been 6 months and he still hasn't repainted the wall were the previous owners spray painted a nasty message, and he still hasn't washed the bathroom-ever- and its growing mildew, and then you find out he did really buy it! he's just renting! Yeah right, he means to stick around. He's using it for what its worth because its comfortable for now, and he'll leave when a better option opens up, or he gets bored with this one.
Now suppose you're right on the above-mentioned score. A HUGE part of security is emotional security. I'm not saying you must always say she's beautiful after she weights 300lb, or that you must always "love" her and call her "sweety" even when she's a bitch or disrespects you in front of strangers or worse your guy friends or co-workers. I do however mean that your anger should be short-lived. You should always reach to resolve all conflict. Basically SHE MUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT ABANDON HER IN SPIRIT. The previous paragraph was about not abandoning her physically, this is about not doing it in your mind. You can get mad at her, but she must know that at some point (after a long work-out, or time in the garage, or 1 day storming around not saying anything) that you will return to the conflict or address the hurt that she gave you. You'll hold her hand while you say "you hurt me. I know you didn't mean to, but I need you to know you hurt me. Its over now, I don't want to talk about it. I forgive you. And its behind us now." She must know that no matter what evil she does to you, you will forgive her. She, more than anyone, knows she is not perfect and if you set a pattern of unforgiveness or estrangement she will fear losing you. (Like you don't touch her for weeks). This DOES NOT mean she's a princess who can get away with murder. If she's wrong - call her on it. If she hurt you, then you are entitled to act hurt. What you must not do is allow her foolish mistakes or selfish moments (we all have them) to destroy your relationship. Now this is all assuming she is a normal person who in general acts lovingly and respectful toward you, and overall wants the relationship to succeed. A relationship takes two, if she takes your efforst as an invitation to walk all over you like a welcome-mat, then I'd say break it off.0