Why is he still there?

I know a couple who say they are together for the daughter. They live in separate parts of the house. The wife has been seeing other men. They both say they are nothing more than roommates. However, the daughter has been off to college for a year. Why have they not gone their separate ways? I have major interest in the guy but do not want in the middle of this situation. He comes to see me at work everyday but nothing further.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Follow that instinct and do not get involved until divorce papers are final and she or he has moved out of that house. If you jump the gun, assuming he is even into you, you are setting yourself up for some soap opera style drama that I can only guess, you don't need in your life.

    My friends parents had been actively fighting and threatening divorce and leading separate lives in the same house since she was 13. She is now a senior in college, hasn't lived at home since she was 18, and just last year they finally finished the divorce and moved on. Relationships are complicated as are the people in them. They may hate each other, but either financially can't figure out how to separate or they could have a friendship or an understanding, but its none of your business.

    If the guy has verbalized or shown you that he really is into you, it may be worth the wait, but if he has shown no reciprocal interest, you may be waiting around for a long time and for nothing. Good luck.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Well that's strange, they should have gone their separate ways. I don't know why they wouldn't, may be they are just showing off to their daughter, doing for the sake of it.

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  • Hmm. That's an interesting situation. But you're right not to get involved. It could be that they are working out details on how to sell the house, split up the property, etc. Takes longer when you can't stand the person (I know this from experience). Even if it's not a bitter divorce, it's not a fun process. And who knows what's really going on? Only those two.

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  • If the daughter has been gone for a year, then there is more going on than being roommates - or he has some really big other issues. IMHO you need to move on - I'm a guy who stuck around in the same sort of of situation you describe for my kids... but when they were gone it was time for me to go too.

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  • May actually be for the daughter.

    Lots of failed relationships like this with no divorce or separation. The seeing other people part, openly, is a bit unusual.

    Ask him out for a friendly coffee and offer him a sympathetic ear with no ulterior motive. Can't hurt. :)

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  • Cost of living?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Many times just because a couple 'Live in separate parts of the house,' they both go about Separate lives with this for Financial reasons of the seasons.
    It's easier to maintain a civil relationship, than a Hardship One on the outside, by Dividing everything up.
    I know a few couples who are Divorced as I write this, who share the same roof but Not the same bed and Are... The best of the friends till the end.
    For now, be friends, go slow with the flow and see as time goes on, what's up with Joe.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Then leave him be. He might be working on things. You don't live there and you don't know what goes on in their home.

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