Girls, am I an asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend because she has been married before because of these reasons?

Girls, am i an asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend because she has been married before?

-The wedding will not be as exciting and amazing for her as the previous one
-The marriage will not be as exciting because the newness/freshness of a first marriage will not be there
-The giddyness will not there because she will already have experienced it and it is not new to her
-She surrealness of knowing that you are actually married will not be the same

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
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I'm a Girl

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10

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know how to vote on this here, dear, so just voted... No.
    I would not say so much that you are this 'Name' but with thinking like this, I find your standards are a bit too high as her new guy and you are over thinking this way too much.
    You are supposed to love her Unconditionally and this means with her previously have been married. It should not really matter whether or not she has walked down the aisle with someone before you but Now all that Should matter is the second time is going to be better than the first because Now... She has got First choice, the best from the rest.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Okay, so just saw that you just found out after 4 years? Wish you had been more specific... You should be then more concerned of open lines of convo than her dad... Giving the bride away. This is by far more important and not fair that she didn't tell you or was probably afraid to. xx

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 9

  • I don't think you're an asshole but I do think you're dumb. This is a new experience for the two of you because she is being married to YOU, not the same person before.

    I could have a thousand weddings and each would feel the same: I'm getting married to the person I love.

    I understand what you're coming from, but it doesn't make any sense. The marriage will be exciting because it is a NEW marriage, it doesn't matter if it's not the first.

    I don't know. It seems dumb to me. But you feel how you feel.

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  • Wow 4 years of a womans life you took and you broke up with her for the dumbest reason. Maybe she was afraid to tell you because you would react just like this!! Clearly you are judgmental and not confident in your love with her, or maybe this is your outting because you didn't want her anymore. Regardless, if it was soley based upon something from her past... that is pretty messed up. She is prob devastated and heartbroken. Good job!

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  • That's like saying you won't date someone unless she's a virgin and never dated before.

    I might break up with someone like that as well however, but only because they didn't tell me and honesty is the most important thing to me

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  • I wouldn't call you an asshole but I do not think that those are valid reasons to break up with someone. Personally I would prefer to not date someone who's been married before (for other reasons) but if I did I wouldn't hold it against them.

    Reasons:
    Some people who have been married before don't wish to be married again. (happened to a friend)
    I don't want to deal with the financial burden they accumulated from their previous marriage (alimony or bills).

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  • How do you know all this? Did she tell you it won't be as exciting? Or is someone putting ideas in your? Maybe she'll be more excited. If you have reservations, tell her. Don't use what you think is in her head to get out of it. Own up to your own feelings.

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  • Sure she's been through it all before, but she hasn't been through it with you. So it would be exciting for her still. She was probably just embarrassed about it.

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  • can't judge tbh but how long have you guys been together?

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    • We were together for 4 years and then i found out she has been married before. I just broke up with her

    • she hide if from you... so i don't think you're wrong

  • That was her past.

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  • Yes u are and I believe she would have been every relationship. Is different existing and new the old one ended for a reason it was bad and she needs a new fresh start she may be happier and more excited than ever before to be with u and hey u knew she had been married before to begin with right

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    • No she hid it from me

    • Oh I c well I understand u being mad but u know I'm sure she is happy with u and heart broken right now

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