Anyone been to therapy?

Two months ago I was cheated on by a boyfriend of 4 years. We broke up. But im left very offended and angry. I feel I am donig okay in recovering. Except every once in a while it hits me again and i get so much anxiety. I think my friends and family are sick of me talking about it. They don't know what to say anymore. I barely talk about it now but I don't want to talk about it with anyone because i feel like they dont want to hear it. I started keeping super busy but weirdly its gotten worse? I don't want to pay for therapy. I don't think I need it. But I feel like im drowning in my thoughts and I spend about 3 hours every day googling cheating and why it happens. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • People cheat because they just do. There is no reason behind it, you are wasting your time analyzing it. Same happened to me 3 months ago, my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. Yep, that guy that I thought is a perfection itself turned out to be a complete jerk. And I was also googling about it, talking about it, that's the reason why I came here in the first place. For a long time I thought it was something that I did that made him cheat, that I became less sexy or stopped seducing or whatever - it's not. But I did made one mistake for not paying attention to those little warning signs that we ignore or don't see when we are in love. The more time goes by and the less feelings I have for him, the more I see those signs. I was also too good and compassionate to him that made him spoiled and made him take me for granted, that was another mistake. Unfortunately, no matter how long we are with someone, we gotta be a bit of a cock tease and bitchy sometimes. Be too good and you will be cheated or dumped, that's the sad reality. Anyways, don't worry, you will get better. He probably always had that cheating side in him, it's just the way he is. He won't be good for anyone, he did you a favor after all. Don't think you need a therapy tho, it's still too early 2 months are nothing it gets a lot more to heal. Just keep living your life the way you want. People told me to get busy and I did I was as busy as call center, but it didn't help tbh. So I just accepted that I am gonna be fucked up for awhile. The only things that will heal you is TIME and SOMEONE ELSE. Until that just keep living... that's all you can do.

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    • Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this. There were seriously so many warning signs.. Inappropriate social media behaviour, inability to communicate his issues, passive aggressive behaviour, making comments to purposely hurt me. I WAS COMPLETELY BLIND. I always thought that he loved me and that was all that should matter. But I do think that it is possible to spot someone who is capable of cheating after getting into a relationship. I think it stems from an inability to express themselves properly and a lack of communication. I no know the signs and know I will run as far as I can in the opposite direction if faced with them again. Sorry this happened to you too. Glad to hear I'm not alone. We are so much better off. People that cheat are sick human beings and I don't want anything to do with them.

    • Yeah exactly, I also noticed warning signs but I ignored them because I thought that if he didn't love me anymore or didn't want to be with me he would tell me. If something is wrong he would tell me. Since he wasn't saying anything I thought everything was okay. Well, it wasn't, and he just decided not to talk about it and "fix" things on his own way by cheating. It was his inability to communicate, and he dug his own grave, it's only him to blame. Same goes for your guy. I'm glad if this helps you! Just never doubt yourself and know that you are an amazing person and one day you'll meet someone as amazing and all of this will be just one lesson that will make you laugh. :) As for me, I know that I should never ignore my gut feeling and should never satisfy with less then I deserve.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It takes time. I know it hurts. I've been there. It does get better. Your mind is trying to rationalize why it happened, but there's no little box we can put this into. I spent months doing the same thing. My family and friends were worn out with me. I talked to anyone who would listen. I know you're hurting; but trust me, it will get better.

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    • I believe that. Thank you for taking the time to write down a response. I know I'm not alone. As much as I seem like I'm okay and "over it" to others. I know I won't be for a while but at the same time I do believe my life has gotten better from the removal of a toxic person. Sorry to hear this happened to you too.

  • No I haven't

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What Girls Said 3

  • do share with people who shared the same feelings. Find a BBS to read the real consequence and feelings of being cheated on.

    Same here, my friends is so tired of me crying. If you don't mind, you can write to me to complain.
    I understand, sometimes, you really need a way out even it is the past.

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  • i went to therapy a few times, and personally everytime i walked out of there i felt so positive and relaxed. they are professionals who have dealt with such things for years. your mental health is just as important as your physical health, so if you feel like you need help, go get it. Just give it a shot and see how it goes. stay strong hun xx

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  • Find something exciting and new to concentrate on. Switching your focus from one thing to another will help. My husband and I went to three months of therapy after he cheated, and it helped us a lot. We learned a lot of tools to communicate with... and we still use them, years later. Go for as long as you feel you need to, recognize what happened and accept it, and then move on. : )

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