What did my daughter do to deserve this?

She's been alive for 4 years every since I was 16. Still, her father hasn't cared for her financially or emotionally. Her father wasn't at any of her doctor appointments, he wasn't at her baby shower, okay big deal right. He wasn't there when she was born (kicked out Marines) You'd think he'd be here for her now. Right? His excuse was that it was because he was broke. Being broke was no excuse as to why he hadn't established a relationship with her. You can be the poorest person in the world yet, still a child would think you're the greatest in the world because of that unconditional love. I ended the relationship 3 years ago because my desire to put her first. So it's not like I was one of those crazy baby moms chasing him down for child support. He knew my entire family and some extended , I knew his, and we had mutual friends. I thought we could co-parent so I gave him time. So 4 years right, still not 1 phone call to check on her, still not 1 card or present, still not 1 holiday spent with her, still not 1 penny spent on her. So it's been 4 ears right, he's known me for 5 so because we're not together means you don't have to be a father to your child? When I'd call him, he'd disconnect the number he'd block me on Facebook he'd cut off all contact so that he would not have to be involved. He married a girl with the same name as me a few months ago that he only knew for a few months and they are having a baby girl next month. I was sucidle 2night but i know better. I hate him so bad ill never heal from this. I just dont understand why he did this to her and what did wrong I've never been this hurt & cried this much especially since it has gone on unanswered. My daughter looks just like him she is so sweet and smart. Do you think he think of her everyday or care, who abandons their first born run from someone who isn't chasing them never talks to there child orsupport them. I dont care if anything happened to him just like he dont care about his daughter. Im hurt


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ouch. That hurts. I really feel for you, I honestly do. I can't say why he's acting like he is, but it's really a crummy thing to do. Whenever there's kids involved, it takes on a whole new dimension. His excuse is, at best, silly. You don't need money to be in a child's life. He doesn't want the responsibility and tossed it onto you. This kind of thing makes me mad.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No offense, but you should have chosen a better man to conceive with. Not that he is any less accountable or responsible for being a crappy father, but in a way, you failed your child by choosing him as a sexual partner because now that little girl is familiar with rejection before she has even started dating 😁😔
    You can't make a man be a father. If the value system is not there, his absence may be a good thing in the long run

    • No offense, but you are retarded if you think I've failed my child. That means half of the world if not more has failed there child. On second hand, I was 16 years old so clearly if I had chosen him I'd be the one married to him right now. Third off, he wasn't a man he was a boy. Fourth off, she has no idea what's going on she just remember his name and like she is now, she has and will have so much unconditional love that she won't even think about that clown. So yes thanks for your untasteful opinion.

    • Where in my post did I precisely say you have failed your child?

    • You're so busy being defensive that you failed to understand my point.
      It's great that you are confident in your ability to give unconditional love, but realistically, you cannot underestimate or delude yourself about the impact this deep sense of rejection will have on your daughter in the future. Naturally, she's going to think about that clown when she goes to class and does Father's Day projects or makes a friend and observes her relationship with her father. You can't just pretend that the fatherly role will be meaningless and insignificant in her life because you have deemed the sperm donor as a loser. I'm not criticizing you, I am just being honest and real with you because you asked what your daughter did to deserve this and the honest truth is: She did nothing, you put her in this position with your reckless, careless sexual choices as a teenager.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Your daughter doesn't but sadly we don't get to chose when or how we are born but we chose how we live our life from today and tomorrow.

    Forgot about him, my dad was never around either, but my mom and grandparents taught me life lessons worth way more then money.

    How to be confident, make decisions*was never a sholar*, fix my mistakes, and etc

  • Your daughter didn't do anything and neither did you, really, the father just isn't a very moral individual.

  • What did she do? Not one thing. Her pain is your fault and your responsibility. Every stubbed toe. Every daddy issue. Every pain she will experience in her life is your fault. If it were not for you, she would not have existed, at all. She would have had peace. She would not have cared if her father wasn't in the picture. You chose the wrong person, for one. You put yourself first. That's why you had a child in the first place. You weren't thinking about her.

    Both you and your daughter must bear the consequences of your actions. Killing yourself would be even more selfish. To bring a baby into the world then ditch it like nothing. Pretty much the same as the father, isn't it? Worse, maybe. You shouldn't have the luxury of the choice of suicide. That child is your responsibility. He owes her. And YOU owe her. You owe her even more for choosing such a shit guy. Be twice the mother to your child since the father is not there. Since you gave her life, she deserves to have the best possible one. Yeah. It sucks. It's hard as hell. And you accepted all of that and more when you decided to have a baby.

    And maybe you *should* chase him down for child support. If he didn't want to be a father, he should have made sure it wouldn't happen. But he wasn't thinking either. He just wanted to get his dick wet. Short-sighted and profoundly selfish. If he doesn't want to pay for her in being a father, he can pay for his decision like a man and support the child financially whether he likes it or not. Do what needs to be done, and give your daughter the best life possible, since you forced it on her in the first place.


What Girls Said 1

  • It happens in life. My father walked out of my life when I was seven, didn't even turn back once. Even when he was there for the seven years, it was like he was never there to begin with. And let me tell you, that is so much worse. Knowing your father is in the same room as you but won't even give a little love. It's easier on your child and it's best if she never knew a man like that. It'll hurt less I guarantee


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