After about 2 months of no contact, I finally felt it was time to contact my ex girlfriend and tell her to pick up the stuff she left at my house. She dumped me, I felt blindsided and really cared about her a lot. She admitted that she blindsided me and that I did nothing wrong and that I was a great boyfriend. The break up was devastating to me, and I miss her very much. I also feel angry, and confused, as I kind of think she is seeing someone new (I think she moved on very quickly after dumping me), and that some of the reasons she gave me about our break up seem like lies. Given that she had some bad relationships in the past, I went through the relationship at her pace and tried to be respectful of her feelings and needs. She seemed to ramp up the commitment, only to suddenly run one day. I reciprocated the commitment and always put her needs before my own, and did everything I could to be a good boyfriend.
When she dumped me, she kissed me a few times, asked me to tell her when I got home safely and told me that it was going to be hard not to call me. She kissed me a few time when we spoke a month later after the 1st no contact. I can't help but think she did those things to keep me attracted to her and as an option, should she choose to come back. I never played games with her and feel like she disrespected me and my feelings. She broke her promise to me by doing things she said she would never do.
Should I tell her how I feel when she comes to my house next week? Should I explain how I feel like she led me on, how she hurt me, and ask why she did it? Or, should I just act like nothing bothers me and quickly give her back her stuff and say bye?
She also decorated my living room, should I take down all of the things she put in the room? They just remind me of her, and I want to make an impact when she shows up.
i am not sure why I still care about someone who would hurt me so badly.
Most Helpful Girl
Whatever you do, do it for you, not for her. Remove the art if it bothers YOU - not to make an impression on her. Share you feelings if it will lift weight off your shoulders and give YOU closure - not to guilt trip her.
Also, the kissing and affection should probably be treated with caution. I've had exes do so either out of habit or to enjoy little perks without the hassle or commitment. Or to lessen their guilty conscience by throwing me a bone? So please don't be hard on yourself about lingering feelings - we all have that one person (or many!) who gave 50% to our 100%.0