How do I get over my ex and his new girlfriend?

okay so we dated for almost nine months and the entire time he talked to a girl that was his "friend" and then we broke up and now they're dating. I'm sane enough not to stalk them on social media and I even blocked him and unfriended him so I wouldn't even temp myself. But we both go to the same college and ran on the same team so we naturally have the same group of friends and I constantly run into him! I wish him the best and hope he's happy with her but it still hurts when I see them together. Actually makes me more mad. And it sucks because I constantly think about him and ik he doesn't think of me because he has someone to distract him. And I'm not the type of girl to date just to rebound. I'm very introverted but I'm very social. I just need some advice as to how I can stop thinking about him. And it would make my life so much easier if when I saw him and skin didn't crawl and my heart break every time lol

HELP PLEASE!!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • …. WOW. Take a deep breath! So, it is perfectly okay for you to not be okay with this sleazy, uncomfortable, simply WRONG situation that your disloyal ex and his scheming “friend” put you in. Lets just be real here: You have been screwed over. Someone who claimed to be committed to you was doing some shady, sleazy, unacceptable things behind your back while you were together and his “friend” was probably smiling in your face while she was taking mental notes on how to be better for him than you. The situation is *cked up, disgusting, deplorable, and you have every single right to not be cool with it.

    You’ve got to accept that eliminating him from your thoughts is going to take time. You spent a long amount of time incorporating him into your journey and including him into various layers of your life. So reversing and remedying that process is going to take a bit of time. You are already on the right track…
    1. Delete and block him from everywhere.
    This is so crucial because in order to keep him in your past, he must absolutely have no opportunity to be apart of your present or future. THIS INCLUDES SOCIAL MEDIA. Social media is still a legitimate invitation and inclusion into your life and vice versa. Being followers and friends on social media is a nonverbal way of welcoming someone into your life even if from a distance. He does not deserve that from you anymore. He has exiled himself from your journey by stabbing you in the back and sh*tting all over you. The healthy choice to make is to completely eradicate his presence from every part of your life; get rid of his gifts, delete pictures, keep him blocked, and ignore his calls/texts. If you see him around, treat him like air and boldly tell your friends that you do not want to hear about him. Another important, helpful thing to do is to change his name to “You Deserve Better”. Check out Ian Pavlov’s theory on classic conditioning: Long story short-The way you save his name has an effect on your emotional response to him.

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    • 2. Do not allow yourself to be dominated by anger and bitterness. Yes, you were screwed over and completely shitted all over. Yet do not let that reduce the type of woman you can be. Don’t let that change your ability to be spiritually graceful and be familiar with psychological peace. Acknowledge that they are both scumbags who deserve people as shady, disgusting, and sleazy as each other. She did you a favor by taking the trash and he did you a favor by reminding you want a good man feels like as opposed to a shitty, worthless one. :)

      3. Fall in love with life. Life will remedy every heartache, disappointment, and doubt he has planted in your mind.

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    • Girrrrl, being single is awesome! Trust me! We’re about the same age; we are at our prime where we can focus on fulfilling our career goals, dreams, and greatest hopes with all the luxuries of adult freedom! I’ve had many guys try to win my affections and seen through them all within time: they tend to be underdeveloped drama with issues. Who wants to waste their womanhood on that? It feels awkward now, but I’m telling you, the single life tends to offer more grand opportunities than your average dramatic mess of a man. Life opens up to something incredible once you take guys out of the picture.

    • Lol geez you said just like me saying girlllll! But yeah I love being single! I was just out last night and had a great time with my friends! I flirted and danced the night away. Unfortunately my ex was there and he's good friends with a good friend of mine so I felt like i had to tolerate him because she kept dragging the both of us right along! The inner bitch in me is hoping that they fail but as wrong as they both did me I hope they're happy. Ugh I'm so sick of putting up with guys bull! It must be me because I've had three serious relationships and in each one the guy left me for another girl. My friends always say I'm too nice and guys end up taking advantage of it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • so best u can do actually's just tolerate him sinc eu r forced to see him. i'm afraid that's da best choice :|

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