okay so we dated for almost nine months and the entire time he talked to a girl that was his "friend" and then we broke up and now they're dating. I'm sane enough not to stalk them on social media and I even blocked him and unfriended him so I wouldn't even temp myself. But we both go to the same college and ran on the same team so we naturally have the same group of friends and I constantly run into him! I wish him the best and hope he's happy with her but it still hurts when I see them together. Actually makes me more mad. And it sucks because I constantly think about him and ik he doesn't think of me because he has someone to distract him. And I'm not the type of girl to date just to rebound. I'm very introverted but I'm very social. I just need some advice as to how I can stop thinking about him. And it would make my life so much easier if when I saw him and skin didn't crawl and my heart break every time lol
Most Helpful Girl
…. WOW. Take a deep breath! So, it is perfectly okay for you to not be okay with this sleazy, uncomfortable, simply WRONG situation that your disloyal ex and his scheming “friend” put you in. Lets just be real here: You have been screwed over. Someone who claimed to be committed to you was doing some shady, sleazy, unacceptable things behind your back while you were together and his “friend” was probably smiling in your face while she was taking mental notes on how to be better for him than you. The situation is *cked up, disgusting, deplorable, and you have every single right to not be cool with it.
You’ve got to accept that eliminating him from your thoughts is going to take time. You spent a long amount of time incorporating him into your journey and including him into various layers of your life. So reversing and remedying that process is going to take a bit of time. You are already on the right track…
1. Delete and block him from everywhere.
This is so crucial because in order to keep him in your past, he must absolutely have no opportunity to be apart of your present or future. THIS INCLUDES SOCIAL MEDIA. Social media is still a legitimate invitation and inclusion into your life and vice versa. Being followers and friends on social media is a nonverbal way of welcoming someone into your life even if from a distance. He does not deserve that from you anymore. He has exiled himself from your journey by stabbing you in the back and sh*tting all over you. The healthy choice to make is to completely eradicate his presence from every part of your life; get rid of his gifts, delete pictures, keep him blocked, and ignore his calls/texts. If you see him around, treat him like air and boldly tell your friends that you do not want to hear about him. Another important, helpful thing to do is to change his name to “You Deserve Better”. Check out Ian Pavlov’s theory on classic conditioning: Long story short-The way you save his name has an effect on your emotional response to him.1
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