Girls, Ex girlfriend dumped me, why did it take so long for her to pick up her belongings?

My ex girlfriend dumped me a few months ago out of the blue. Things were going well, at least I thought they were. We never fought, spent a ton of time together, she even mentioned the idea of eventually moving in together, just weeks before she broke up with me. She admitted that she blindsided me with the break up.

The night she dumped me, I asked my ex if she wanted her belongings back, she said "yes, definitely", I asked when she would be coming to get them, she first said "when the dust settles" whatever that meant. We spoke in person about a month after our break up. I again asked her if she wanted her stuff, and when she would be coming, this time she said "soon" that at she would call me in a week or 2 to set up a time. The call never came. Finally, the other day I reached out to give her a final opportunity to retrive her stuff, she didn't respond to my text, a day later I said she had 1 week to pick up her stuff, after that, I would be throwing it away, that I was trying to be kind and offer, and the decent thing would be for her to respond with a decision. She finally texted me back and said she would be coming to get everything the following week. She claimed she wasn't ignoring me and that I should know better. She also claimed she hasn't contacted me because she was giving me time and space to heal, but later claimed she forgot I had her stuff (these are contradicting statements, so it seems like she is lying to me).

if she dumped me, and has likely moved on, why would she keep delaying, and avoid picking up her stuff? She wanted to break up, she shouldn't care if it's awkward, it's a way to finally end everything.

Was she avoiding it to keep the door open in case she wanted to reconcile with me?

I admit, I do miss her a lot. I have been dating other people, however, I don't feel a strong connection with anyone like I did with my ex.

i am interested in hearing girls' thoughts on why you think my ex acted this way, what she is trying to do.
My ex was supposed to come pick up her stuff the other night, but ended up canceling about 45 minutes before she was supposed to show up. Her reason for canceling was that she was running late from an event she was at. I told her she could still come after the event. She turned down the offer. She asked about the next day, I said no I had plans, and I haven't heard from her since. She was the one who picked the night. Should I wait for her to schedule a new night and not chase her again?


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What Girls Said 2

  • ( depending on your local laws) Generally, By law once a flatmate has moved out, they have 30 days to collect their stuff. You have done the decent thing and given her notice- twice. I would have thrown her stuff out by now. You are not a storage facility!

    • Thanks, I'm not worried about what my legal rights are. I'm just trying to figure out what reasons a woman would do this? She was the one who dumped me. Why did she avoid getting her stuff? Why did she give me contradicting excuses?

    • Seriously, she is playing you!

  • She was confused.


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