Been dating an immature guy for 2 years in hope he will change. He didn't. Does that mean I wasn't good enough or he would be like that with anyone?

Break Up & Divorce

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Been dating an immature guy for 2 years in hope he will change. He didn't. Does that mean I wasn't good enough or he would be like that with anyone?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I see so many girls with this idea that men can be changed. Men NEVER change.
    If you meet a guy in hopes you can change the stuff you don't like, you are setting yourself up for a fail.
    Also never pretend to be ok with the things you don't like to try and trick him into falling for you, so you can later try and stop those things, this is why many guys complain he fell for a girl hoping she would never change but she always does. If you put on an act and he falls for that person, you are deceiving him for the purposes of manipulation and he has every right to bail when the real you isn't what he wanted.

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    • I never tried to change him. I was with him for 2 years and I wouldn't be if I didn't love him. I cared about him and I was worried about him not wanting to find a job, being indoors all the time just playing video games, treated his mom badly, etc. I never accused him for that or started an argument, I only tried talking nicely to him. And of course I was questioning our future together. I don't want to marry a lazy ass, especially not have kids with him being like that. So yeah in a way I secretly hoped he is gonna change eventually, not for me, but for him and us. I only pointed out things he did that hurt me personally, but he was too immature to change anything. In the end he dumped me. I honestly think I was too soft to him, I should've "man up" and leave.

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    • He doesn't sound like a real keeper. I have to wonder what qualities you actually find endearing in him.

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What Guys Said 3

  • People will only change of they want too. You can't force someone to change and it's not even worth trying. You need to realize that he is who he is and move on.

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  • Hard to say for certain, but the leopard usually doesn't change its spots. He'd be like that with anyone, and who knows how long he'll be that way. Some guys never mature.

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  • It means you were a fool if you believed he was gonna change at such age.

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What Girls Said 5

  • ... You were Too 'Good' for him here, dear. However, 'Too Good' also means that you were his Enabler, where no mater what he did, he never did 'Change' because you Allowed him to get away with this.
    Perhaps with another more kind of a straw boss sort of girl he just might have been. She probably would Not put up with this loser for even a minute and if he would try and pull his boyish act, she would give him his walking papers and boot him out the door Saying... No more.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I was with an immature guy for three years. I loved him to bits, despite his flaws but in the end it was him who dumped me. Do not waste time with an immature guy. You will build him up to be the perfect boyfriend only for some other girl to reap the benefit of that. Dump him and see if he will out up a fight. If he doesn't, it's his immaturity and you are better off moving on.

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  • There is only one person a guy will change themselves for- themselves! That's why many professional therapist will tell people ( women in particular) not to wait around for someone to change. They won't, at least not permanently. They might temporary, in order to get what they want ( e. g. Sex), but they will eventually go back to their comfortable old ways. if you don't like someone as they are, don't waste your time trying to change them, just move on.

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  • He will change if/when he wants to. It has nothing to do with you.

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  • He won't change.

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    • Well not for me. We broke up. But does it mean if gets into a new relationship right now that he will change for her? Like does the person he's with has anything to do with it?

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