Why did my ex husband send me a friend request on Facebook?

This divorce got ugly really fast. And we have only been divorced for like three months. He tried to add me as a friend on Facebook and then poked me through Facebook. He also keeps sending me long "I'm sorry" messages. I've been clear that I hate his freaking guts, and that I considered him dead the moment he decided to leave me for another women. Why doesn't he stop?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Chances are he is beginning to feel deep remorse and regret now that your absence in his life is painfully obvious. Unfortunately, many times when people apologize it's not for you: it's for them. It's not to make you feel better, it's to relieve themselves of their own guilt. It's too silence the deafening reality check which holds them accountable for a mess and remains on repeat in their minds. This is probably why he's so diligent with trying repeating his apology. There's a high probability that this could be one of those situations.

    I still think it's best for you and most healthy for your mind and spirit to NOT INVITE OR INCLUDE HIM IN YOUR LIFE IN ANY WAY INCLUDING SOCIAL MEDIA. You've already given so much irretrievable time on his messes. At this point, his presence is an injustice to all that you could be because even if he is sorry; you are still tethered to his pain. You are still tightly secured to the "depression and anxiety" he has caused. Instead of working on progress and fixing the damage he caused, you will simply be reminded of it all with his presence becoming a constant reminder. Please keep doing what you're doing

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    • Thank you sooo much. This was very uplifting!!! My family and friends don't truly know what I feel and what I'm going through when he reaches out to me. It feels like he is rubbing salt in my wounds. It surfaces all of that pain like you said. I try to beat it down with a bat only to have it pop up again every time he tries to contact me. He has worked his way through my circle of family and friends to put himself back in my life. Then he says he moved on, only to keep trying to get messages to me about nothing. But thank you sooo much. This made my day.

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    • Good for you, girl! These steps you're making right now are pretty much the foundation for a happier, more peaceful future :)

    • You should write "_____'s absence is a necessary ingredient for my healing" on your mirror or just remind yourself so that your head starts to dictate your heart and not the other way around.

      He seems really selfish to be honest like all he thinks about is his own feelings. If he really loved you and cared for you, then he would privately carry the guilt and sort through it on his own yet LET YOU MOVE FORWARD AND HEAL WITH HIS ABSENCE.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He probably realized he made a mistake and wants you back or just wants to spy on you through FB.

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    • I agree I think it's killing him not to know my every move. And whether he has a chance to win me over. It's like what makes him think that everything can fixed with sorry through Facebook when he fucked up 3years of my life?

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    • Thanks so much for the advice!!! It's hard trying to move on and he keeps trying to bring me back. And it sucks that I have to go through different security measures for a relationship he ended. I'll just be happy when he leaves me alone.

    • Your welcome and I wish you the best moving forward. :)

  • Because he's a jackass. Be strong and continue to ignore

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    • Thanks I'm trying to be very strong but he gets under my skin and causes my anxiety to bother me. I have an anxiety disorder which is why I got out of that relationship but I don't think he is happy unless I'm suffering and he knows he is the cause.

  • He probably realizes what an idiot he was and is now having a hard time completely letting go. Guys can be extremely stupid and they don't realize what they actually wanted until they lose that one thing. I wouldn't accept the request and don't look back!

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    • That's exactly what he said. The girl he left me for left him when he lost his job. Then now it's all about getting his life back with me. I'm not a girl who just sits in a corner waiting for him to need me. But now he needs me, I want to help but I know better. So I haven't blocked him to prove that I've grown from this situation but he just abuses the fact that I reactivated my page. I'm really hurting physically and emotionally but he refuses to just let me heal.

  • he wants to be friends.

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