Should we call it quits?

My husband and I will have been married for 10 years in October. Our is a different situation as I moved out three years ago. We were supposed to still be together. In the past four or five months he hardly has anything to do with me. I told him he need to decide whether he wanted me in his life. He said he needs three days to decide. If he loved me he wouldn't need time to decide. He is going through some kind of depression and won't let me in. We have no children together and his daughter, her husband, and their kids live with him. We were supposed to get our own house in a year but that turned into two.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... He is going through some kind of depression and won't let me in...
    With being 'Married for 10 years in October,' it sounds like hubby has by passed the seven year itch. However, Now it has taken its toll on him, he may be going through a Relationship Rut and has the baby blues.
    This may be not all he is going through here, dear, there could be more than meets the eye than you even know. He could be actually suffering in silence with even Depression that has led to Real mental issues.
    Give This a last try. Ask him if you both need to seek help for him in some way. If he pushes You away and refuses to go or just 'Refuses' to get help in this marriage, then tell him that while he took '3 days to decide,' you have been doing some soul searching of your own and want to take A... Long break with No contact now.
    See if this First helps in this relationship. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. And along the love lines if it doesn't help, then maybe it is time to take more serious matters into your hands and seek other 'Help' for termination.
    The 'Different situation' that you are In is Not healthy and with almost '10 years in October,' a girl can get real old waiting for a husband to come around, especially one with Issues.
    Good luck, my blessings for you please to stay strong. xx

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What Guys Said 4

  • Get a divorce. This should have happened 3 years ago. I don't believe in separation in marriages. It just gets him used to not having each other around. Why give him all the power in this? If your unhappy he doesn't let you in or with him in general you can end this too.

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  • So other than being depressed, what is wrong with him that caused you to move out and want to divorce him?

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  • tbh three days to decide? If he loves you then he dont wven need to decide the answer lies within your question :)

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  • If he loved you why are you not living with him

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    • Because I moved out when his daughter was moving in. She hates me and lives to make my life hell. I can't live with her. He knew that when he agreed to let her move in.

What Girls Said 4

  • Depression is very hard to deal with for the person suffering and those in his life. Most people think it's being down and crying all of the time but it is not. Most of the time you feel nothing. You can't concentrate on anything and you can barely get out of bed. It isn't that your husband doesn't love you, he just doesn't know what he is feeling about anything. On the bright side there are options out there. He can seek help. Men are far less likely to seek help for anything mental. They fear it makes them weak, or it's just a mood they will snap out of. Try to be supportive and help him seek help. With depression it's nearly impossible to even make a doctors appointment let alone feel worthy enough to fix what is going on in your head. As for shutting you out... That is another very common thing sufferers do. They don't want to bring their loved ones down or seem like they aren't having a good time or always acting like a Debbie downer. It sounds like he clearly does need help though, and you can try to help him get it but there also isn't much you can do unless he wants to help himself. Try to be understanding and delicate with the matter. He may get defensive or angry. Stress that you care and are worried and that you believe in him and want to help him be the best man he can be. If he does go on medication or seek help be patient, it can take awhile for these things to get better.

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  • I really hate when people divorce. I believe people need to try everything humanly possible before totally giving up. I personally would seeking counciling even go by yourself to start. Having a professional 3rd party perspective can really help get an idea with what steps are needed to help start heading down a better road.

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  • you need to resolve this and shouldn't get divorced if he or you hasn't cheated and there is hope for you two you need to be in counseling and try to work it out my parents are divorced my dad left when I was three I hate seeing married couples divorced over things that can be resolved please try to help your marriage unfortunately my parents marriage couldn't be saved my dad is a selfish jerk anyway have you considered praying about it I am a Christian and I know you may not be but I do know that in my personal struggles prayer has helped I didn't always get the answer I wanted but im just asking if you are open to it just pray God if you are real then please help in this situation im lost and don't know what route to take I guarantee something will change :)

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  • Give it time
    Be supportive
    Don't add to his stress by questioning him too much

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