Why do I do this to myself... I feel hopeless... and so lonely?

My ex of 4 years and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had a nice, healthy relationship other than her reluctance to commit and such. We lived together, did long distance for years, did all of it.. She broke up with me but it was semi mutual. She cited that we needed life experience and such before we commit to marriage.. which I guess I agree. I was holding on a little because I was scared. She is the only girl I've ever been with (still) and its just... so very hard. Basically me and her got together post breakup about 1.5 months ago because I gave her a ride back from the airport (new place is close to airport). Needless to say, things got heated and it happened. Sad part was, it was the happiest I had been in months. Followed by the same level of sadness. Then it happened again. Which was equally as nice but a bit more confusing. Everything was just so nice and easy. It was like the most amicable breakup in history... And then recently it happened again. It was to celebrate me getting into medical school. We got together, had a nice dinner. Saw a funny movie... etc. It felt just so awesome. Then things got a little emotional. She once again said that we need some life experience. She wants to travel, I also want to travel but I want to be a doctor more than anyhting in the world. She said in the back of her mind she sees us getting back together later in life, but fears that one of us won't want to and that she is scared of losing me and that she misses me. Basically... now I feel so torn up inside. My thoughts are killing me. I am borderline suicidal and just dont know what to do. I definitely do NOT want to date or meet other women for whatever reason (probably cuz for some reason I still think there's hope). My friends tell me to cut her out but to also just be alone for awhile and stop looking. Just because im such a mess. Just take time and find myself.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think she has feelings... and commitment issues

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What Girls Said 3

  • You can still experience things while being together. Only reason she might say this is because she wants to sleep with others with out the feeling of guilt. Just do what she says, go around, get to know other people and network. If you don't happen to meet someone better, then sure, get back with her when she feels she wants you back, and I say it that way in hopes you might realize something.

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  • Its not easy
    What u are going through
    But by thinking so much about it will it really help to get her?
    Or ur relation back?
    You gotta focus on becoming a doctor
    Be a savior to some souls ur soul will also be saved someday

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  • I would just wait it out a bit just to see what happens. Some people come closer after time apart and some type of change occurs. I don't know why tho.

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