Me and my girlfriend were together for 1 year, split up for 17 months. She met someone else after 4 weeks of splitting up and I enjoyed being single?

We met through work but live 250 miles away. We commute at weekends. After we split We seen each other at a yearly works meeting and she told me she split up with him 3 weeks ago we ended up sleeping together and getting back together. It's been 8 months now. We still live 250 miles away And commute. She says she is unhappy and now doesn't see a future for us she would never want to move where I live and vice versa. I wouldn't because my family and friends are here and I'm very family oriented whereas she isn't but she has a well paid job where she is and doesn't like where I live. She's been upset with me recently she thinks I'm controlling and micro managing her because sometimes if she hasn't replied to my texts I'll check to see if she was on FB because at times I feel she is ignoring me and I like her to tell me things about what she's getting up to during her working week because we don't see each other then. I do sometimes get insecure and worry she's keeping things from me or what she's doing but I know it's just me. I'm insecure because before we met she was seeing a married man, she opened up to me about this but said she never knew and when she found out he was married she stopped. After a month of being together the first time I saw a email and she called him gorgeous. I also found out not long before we split up that she knew he was married after a few weeks of seeing him and stopped after 3/4 months. She got back in touch after we split but nothing happened she met someone else. When she split with her new boyfriend this married guy messaged her and she put him straight and blocked his number. I just get insecure sometimes and worry because she didn't tell me things 1st time round but this time she's been 100% honest but sometimes I still worth. Because of this she's saying now she's unhappy, doesn't see a future and is tired of travelling as well now. Love her but don't know what to do or what she's thinking. Think she still loves me because why travel.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Whatever the feelings you have for one another and affection/attraction between you, it seems that at this point in time there's a fundamental compromise neither of you are willing to make to take your long distance relationship forward.

    Maintaining distance relationships are hard, especially when there isn't constant communication. But making the transition to move to be together can also be hard because one person can feel like they've compromised and are owed something or greater appreciation or accomdation from their partner for sacrificing/ giving up their situation.

    Also making that integration has to be something you both want to do... introducing someone to friends family? Their day to day life... it's not a factor so much when you don't live nearby... but can turn into a big stressor or disappointment if you do move closer.

    If that isn't something you feel like your relationship can survive at this time... maybe breaking up and giving you selves the chance to really move on is the nest option instead of dragging something on that can't work out in the end.

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    • This is true. I will see how we get on as we getting on better now. And maybe she may decide she wants to look at moving eventually. Sometimes she seems more ok with the idea but when we are not getting along its never going to happen. Thank you though appreciate your comment. Makes sense and thanks for taking out the time to write it all.

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What Girls Said 2

  • From reading all this, I feel as if she is trying to tell you she wants to break it off.

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    • Yeah but I just don't get why she hasn't and I've said to her then before I'll take you to the station to go back home and she didn't want to. And I said two weekends ago let's have a break and she was a little drunk and was saying she didn't want one and I played her at her own game. I think she wants to see I can change maybe I'm not sure. She's 8 years older than me too by the way I'm 24

    • Do as you choose. Keep me posted

  • give her some time.

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    • Yeah I guess that's all I can do.

What Guys Said 1

  • Hmmm...😐 better find someone else..

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