My ex and I have been talking a lot lately about how much we loved each other and the possibility of working things out?

He tells me he loves me, he can see me filling this missing spot, and how he and his son miss me. After talking for a little bit, he finally told me about this on again off again girlfriend he had been seeing and seemed happy it was over. We were making progress, and she decided to get back together with him. No all the sweet things he said to me, I'm supposed to ignore because he said them when they weren't together. He says we can work on things if this current relationship he's in ends. He has been cold and cruel reminding me that I left him and hurt him, even though he told me to leave. He's focusing on how much I hurt him, but I've forgiven him for all the hurtful things he did and said during and right after our breakup. He knows he lead me on and felt bad and then began being cruel again. I don't know how much longer I can hold out hope that he will want to get back together. He has sad He knows this girl is bad for him and doesn't have my class or intellect and he doesn't care for her 2 kids. She plays mind games with him, and he calls her an evil genius. It's really hurtful because he knows he and I are a good fit. I'm feeling like his backup plan. I could is any advice on this situation. I'm just not sure what to do. I'd love to be back together became I love him and his son so much. His family and his son still like me. I think they'd like to see is back together., but after getting back with this girl, he seems uninterested in getting back together even though he said he wanted to work it out and try again. My head hurts trying to understand him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can only imagine how tough the situation feels. I've been in one that seems similar in a lot of ways.

    It seems like you have strong feelings for him (and his son) and that you want it to work out happily. However, his behavior seems to be standing in the way, and that's something over which you can have no real control. His mindset and behavior are what would have to change--profoundly and permanently--for the three (!) of you to have a solid chance at a happy, emotionally healthy future together.

    If you were a relative of mine, I'd urge you not to allow anyone to treat you with the disrespect--and I note that you repeatedly referred to "cruelty," which is even worse--that you've been experiencing with this man. It would be inappropriate behavior from him even if there were not a boy involved. The fact that a child's well being is at stake, and that he would nevertheless expose the child to a woman who he seems to acknowledge doesn't even care for the child, reflects very poorly on this man.

    I respect your feelings. As you've described the situation, he doesn't seem worth those feelings. If he can get his act together--for his son's sake if not his own--then you could revisit the matter. I know it sucks. :) Sorry. I wish you good luck and a happy future.

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    • Thank you for your honest advice. The girl he's seeing has broken up with him a few times already and they've only been together (on and off) for 3 months. He and I were together for 9 months. He told me to leave, and now holds my leaving against me. Whenever I tell him he's hurting me with his up down feelings for me, he brings up the fact that I left. He feels bad for leading me on, but says I'm being selfish for being sad that he is black with this girl. One night all was good and we were talking sweetly, the next day they were back together and he was cold to me. I just get tired of trying to understand him when he's so mixed up and confusing about his intentions and feelings

    • I understand. I think you've got to let him "sort it out" for himself. And I grieve for that boy, but you've got to take care of yourself here. He's got real problems with stability (for starters). And that's sad, but don't let it negatively impact your life. :)

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • He is indeed keeping u as the back up.
    Its upon you do u want to b plan b in a man's life or plan a
    U make ur stand clear to him that don't talk to me as m not those types who will b hanging around when u need me
    You choose what u want and then never look back on your decision

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  • He is definitely Keeping you as a back because if he truly loves you and wanted to be with you he would. Don't let him do that to yo, you deserve better. If I were you I would ignore him.

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