Ex for 6 years won't stop contacting?

When I was 19 I broke up with my first long term boyfriend. He was 22. That was in 2009.

I know I hurt him a lot but the reality was that for me, after a year I wasn't happy, he was graduating and there was no where for the relationship to go. So I broke up. I moved on. I established distance.

Since I went to school out of state we never were geographically close and there wasn't much chance of contact afterwards.

But two years ago he messaged me talking about some interest he remembered me having. I didn't answer. I felt what was the point?

Now six years after we broke up he has messaged me twice this week. The first one was simply " if you get this call me." Then his phone number

This morning it's "smh [shaking my head]. Why do you hate me so much? ..." (I haven't opened the message only checked the preview)

Do I reply to him and tell him I'm not interested? I want him to be well and be happy but we live hundred of miles away. Its not my fault if he's unhappy with his situation. And I don't want to take responsibility for his feelings. I feel like there's nothing we have to talk about and I don't want to feign interest in someone I've moved on from or open the doors for any false hope. I don't want to be the bad guy again and tell someone I don't love them and I don't want to be their friend.

Do I reply or do I keep ignoring?

  • Do I reply back only to shut him down?
    Vote A
  • Do I continue to ignore him?
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If he keeps contacting you then I think it's time you get real with him because by staying quiet you're not really giving him the answer exactly. He could still be wondering why you're not replying and what it means. It's all very confusing to him. I say tell him that you're not interested and let him know how you feel so he can move on once and for all. Just staying quiet isn't enough. I know if i like a guy a lot or even loved him I'd feel hurt that he can't even make the effort to tell me he's not interest. Be honest with him and just say it's not going to work.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Lol 50/50 maybe he misses you... or something. Try contacting him and see what is is up to :)
    Good luck :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, I don't see any harm in responding to him as long as you make it clear that you are not interested in him. I mean, I would feel bad ignoring someone if they just wanted to talk. However, it's ultimately your choice. If you are worried that responding to him could make him get the wrong idea then continue to ignore him. Obviously the relationship is over and you have moved on, I'm not sure what his intentions are though. He could just be wanting to catch up and that's it, or he could still have feelings for you. I have no way of knowing that information.

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    • I think it's his intentions I'm worried about the most. The fact that it's been six years and he hasn't moved on?

      Also that the last message had this tone to it like he was trying guilt me. "Shaking my head"?

      I really am sorry if he feels like I've spent the last 6 years expending the energy to go so far as him, but I don't want to open the floodgates.

      Maybe it's best to just give him closure?

    • Yeah, I think he needs to know straightforward that you aren't interested in him anymore and that you've completely moved on at this point. Maybe that will help him too.

  • There's nothing to be gained from reestablishing contact between you.

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