Why do men treat the mother of their children bad?

My ex and I have been apart for almost 6 months now and we have a 4 yr old together. I see my ex about once a week and when I do, he always treats me like I am less than dirt. He never acknowledges my existence and acts like I wronged him. Our relationship was off and on and last August is when he tried to come back and asked me if I'd move back in with him. He begged me not to re-new my lease, but I did because his behavior did not change.

So in he dropped me in Jan. of this yr and then I found out 3 wks ago he married. Each time I see him he treats me like crap. We have a shared custody arrangment of my son and I have to go wks without talking to him because of his dad. He basically acts like I don't exist. Why would he be treating me so bad? I told my friend and she said this is not normal because there are people who are divorced and things should never be this tense. Each time i go to meet with him he does not acknowledge me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand how you feel coz Im on the same boat as you.. My ex and I been married for ten years and had two children together.. He acted the same way like your ex and treat me like crap.. I think, he just couldn't accept the fact that you left him and glad you did otherwise you'll still be in the same or worse situation.. The best thing you can do is to better yourself.. Go to college and earn a degree or if you already have then just continue to live your life for the sake of your son.. Don't pay attention on what he does, as long as he's not physically threatened or harassing you then you're good.. Don't show him that you're bothered by his behavior because he'll continue it until you snap.. Walk away from it.. He's not worth it..

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    • well he broke up with me last may and in August we were trying to work things out supposedly. He wanted me to move back in with him and I did not want to and told him certain things would have to happen. Even in Nov. he begged me to go to Thanksgiving with his family, but i wasn't comfortable. So in January is when he said it's not working and i initially lost my pride and wanted him to come back bc we have a child, but then I just gave up, and he has been treating me pretty bad. I also found out that he married someone but never told me. His mom keeps meddling in my life although I am trying to cut her off because she is not healthy as she conditioned me to accept his abusive ways. The thing is that she will make excuses to call me etc

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What Guys Said 3

  • Its never easy after breaking up - especially with children involved. I guess I was lucky compared to you, my son lives with me and Maybe spends a a couple weeks out of the whole year with his mother (his choice). If your ex is remarried, I would guess the new wife is causing a great deal of tension - for him to separate himself further from you (especially given that you have a child together). I honestly just try my best to distance myself as much as possible from my ex to avoid any drama. But I have actually been in the opposite boat, when my ex got involved with her current... he was over the top about her not having anything more to do with us than she absolutely had to - which was fine with me... but just giving you an example of how that goes...

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  • Why do you post these sexist and loaded questions?

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  • This is confusing because I don't- in fact I treat her well but she treats me like shit. But since you know better about men's behaviour than I know my own, you sure put me in my place. You must be pretty amazing to know men so well.

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    • and who might you be, lol

    • Someone who apparently treats the mother of my child badly. You know- because that is YOUR experience, it must be true of all men.

What Girls Said 3

  • No offense, I really hope this truth doesn't hurt your feelings... but typically men don't treat the mother of their children very well when she's not their first choice for the mother of their children. :/ Usually, that happens if they were not married and the baby was an "oopsie" but deep down, she would not have been his number one choice to embark on parenthood together. If in his mind, he never seriously thought, "I want this woman to be the mother of my children with me. I want her to stumble and be confused, scared, and worried to death by my side through this journey called parenthood." then he will sooner or later express that resentment by "treating her badly." Even though, he's partially responsible for that bit of fate.
    My guess is it's either that or you broke his heart somehow or he found out about something shady and vile that you may have done. That's not normal behavior, there's gotta be some explanation behind it...

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    • He treated me well as long as i was considering relocating to be with him, but when I decided that his abusive behavior needed to change and I was not going to uproot is when he started treating me less.

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    • @notanexpert101 You can't directly state what all men want. Some men do not want children and it's very apparent in their lack of desire to parent. That's why there are so many absent fathers because while they want to have sex without a condom and blow a load into a warm, wet, cozy vagina, they don't actually want to deal with the responsibilities of fatherhood.

      Just because YOU have an innate desire to want to have babies doesn't mean every single other man or even most men feel the same way. There are a ton of people who are not interested in the idea of procreating despite their biological design.

    • @Esplorare Not to argue TOO much.. since everything stated here is just an opinion... But I did NOT make a statement for what all men WANT, I offered an opinion for what all men AND women were genetically encoded (sorry - lacking a better word at the moment) to do. Which is to reproduce. That is a pretty simple fact, whether you look at it from a religious or an evolutionary standpoint - ? That being said, genetic drive is just that. Does it mean our conscious mind will also tell us "have babies and treat them wonderfully"? Obviously not. As you said - plenty of people - men and women alike do not consciously Want to have babies (and to be as completely honest with you as I can, I did not either when mine came along). My whole entire point was - if you have one, take care of it. If you're a Christian - well Jesus didn't make it to where he was without Mary and Joseph. And if you're an atheist - well homo sapiens didn't make it to where he was without caveman and cavewoman... Best to you

  • Because he is a total loser, no matter whether he wanted you to be the mother of his child or not, he has to respect you.

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  • Because he's an asshole.

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