Guys, could my ex and I work out for good this time?

My boyfriend of almost three and a half years ended things after we almost got engaged. He explained that he had time to think about our relationship in more depth and although it was difficult because we are best friends he felt like he was not ready/good at commitment and that I had become too dependent on the relationship which meant that when he became ill with depression/anxiety I could not support him correctly. He said that this was part of my personality that could not be changed and so there wuld be no point trying to work. However, we had a pregnancy scare around this time and although it turned out to be nothing we kept in contact and he struggled a lot with this. One of the times we met up we discussed everything in great depth and agreed we would try one last time but he said he would find it very difficult. I was really confused, we would meet up but we were getting nowhere. So, last night we met in my car and we discussed more things. It has now been a month and a half since he broke things off. We have agreed to try for 3-6months and if its not working then that will be it over for good. However, in the car something happened and I dont know if it is a good sign or not? Firstly, we argued for a bit as usual. However, then we discussed thing through about how he felt I was clingy and that he felt like I hadn't created an environment in which he felt comfortable sharing things with me. He apologised and said he can see that I am trying my best and he is being overly cautious. I said that I thought we could stop texting altogether and just use texting to arrange meeting up. He couldnt believe it and he even actually said 'well maybe we could text for ten minutes each night' but I declined. He then opened up about something that was upsetting him and i comforted him. Then we had a nice, funny chat. We hugged and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me, then he left and said he felt like it was a good chat.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, it sounds like a deeply troubled relationship. The future is written for no one, though, so things may well work out for you two.

    You were absolutely right about only texting to set up meeting times. That's critically important. Never "discuss" anything meaningful or important by text.

    Every relationship has challenges but they seem large in your case here. The positives have to seriously outweigh the negatives. I'm not getting an impression that the positives are outweighing the negatives here, but that's an assessment only you can make accurately.

    3-6 months is a long time to waste, frankly, on something that shows limited promise, given that life is short and you could easily be missing out one someone less drama-prone. Proceed carefully. If you were my sister, my advice would be to let him go.

    I know the situation must be tough. Sorry. Good luck. :)

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