My ex and I broke up around Christmas and it ended up turning quite argumentative (not that we ever were when together). Since then, we hadn't seen each other for 3 months until 1 day we drunkenly messaged and met each other. She kissed me. A few days after we met for food and I asked the question if it meant anything, she insisted we should remain friends (I never agreed to this).
Anyway, we had started hanging out a lot over the last few months... spending entire days of the weekend together, having food, being open about things like we hadn't before (religion, our past etc) and things felt great. I decided to kiss her (as she was leaving my car) after one evening dinner where she made herself readibly available to see me. We messaged and she said she wanted to take things easy as "things were great".
I took her out for dinner to a nice (slightly expensive restaruant) a few days later for her birthday, we didn't kiss. I didn't feel like I wanted her to owe me for kissing her. I told her this a few days later. For a week and a half since her birthday she had been quite distant in her text messages. So I called her out on it and she said things had been great over the last few months and that she didn't want us to end up like we had in Christmas and that we "remain friends". I suggested we shouldn't (not for now) as I was upset with her being distant and not being open.
We haven't messaged for over a week and it's driving me bonkers. I feel like this can be fixed, but is the lack of contact helping or preventing it? Should I be brash and attempt to overcome any hurdles she may have and probably fail spectaculary or just continue not communicating with her for a while?
"Does she have another guy, then I'd say no. If not, why not?" - Within the 8 days of not talking to her, I doubt it. Additionally I spotted her on Tinder the day before her birthday.
Most Helpful Guy
You should resume seeing her "as friends" and treat things very casually. She was spending time with you, kissing you, so you already had something more than friendship. However, if you force her to think about what is happening between you two, she will run.
Start spending time with her, have fun, do NOT discuss the status of your relationship, continue to kiss her but don't get more passionate until you sense that she wants more. Before long, she will want you between the sheets and it will progress there.
Be wary, however, that you will likely encounter the same problems that you experienced before so be prepared to deal with them differently or you will surely reach he same result.0