Should I try again with my ex?

My ex and I broke up around Christmas and it ended up turning quite argumentative (not that we ever were when together). Since then, we hadn't seen each other for 3 months until 1 day we drunkenly messaged and met each other. She kissed me. A few days after we met for food and I asked the question if it meant anything, she insisted we should remain friends (I never agreed to this).

Anyway, we had started hanging out a lot over the last few months... spending entire days of the weekend together, having food, being open about things like we hadn't before (religion, our past etc) and things felt great. I decided to kiss her (as she was leaving my car) after one evening dinner where she made herself readibly available to see me. We messaged and she said she wanted to take things easy as "things were great".

I took her out for dinner to a nice (slightly expensive restaruant) a few days later for her birthday, we didn't kiss. I didn't feel like I wanted her to owe me for kissing her. I told her this a few days later. For a week and a half since her birthday she had been quite distant in her text messages. So I called her out on it and she said things had been great over the last few months and that she didn't want us to end up like we had in Christmas and that we "remain friends". I suggested we shouldn't (not for now) as I was upset with her being distant and not being open.

We haven't messaged for over a week and it's driving me bonkers. I feel like this can be fixed, but is the lack of contact helping or preventing it? Should I be brash and attempt to overcome any hurdles she may have and probably fail spectaculary or just continue not communicating with her for a while?

Updates:
Unsure how to respond to comments.

"Does she have another guy, then I'd say no. If not, why not?" - Within the 8 days of not talking to her, I doubt it. Additionally I spotted her on Tinder the day before her birthday.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should resume seeing her "as friends" and treat things very casually. She was spending time with you, kissing you, so you already had something more than friendship. However, if you force her to think about what is happening between you two, she will run.

    Start spending time with her, have fun, do NOT discuss the status of your relationship, continue to kiss her but don't get more passionate until you sense that she wants more. Before long, she will want you between the sheets and it will progress there.

    Be wary, however, that you will likely encounter the same problems that you experienced before so be prepared to deal with them differently or you will surely reach he same result.

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  • Does she have another guy, then I'd say no. If not, why not?

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    • Within the 8 days of not talking to her, I doubt it. I spotted her on Tinder the day before her birthday.

    • then go for it.

  • Who broke up with whom?

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    • During Christmas? She broke up with me

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    • "I took her out for dinner to a nice (slightly expensive restaruant) a few days later for her birthday, we didn't kiss. I didn't feel like I wanted her to owe me for kissing her". Dude, if you sense the opportunity to kiss her SEIZE IT. If you refrain from kissing her she's going to imagine you want friendship and nothing else!!


      "For a week and a half since her birthday she had been quite distant in her text messages. So I called her out on it and she said things had been great over the last few months and that she didn't want us to end up like we had in Christmas and that we "remain friends""

      STOP chasing her! I wrote a whole MyTake on this. The more you chase her, the more you push her away!
      You really need to act like a man right now and stop all this insecurity. If she contacts you, ASSUME she wants to meet up and make a definite date!

      "We haven't messaged for over a week and it's driving me bonkers." This is called INSECURITY. If she wants to see you she'll contact you.

    • "We haven't messaged for over a week and it's driving me bonkers. I feel like this can be fixed, but is the lack of contact helping or preventing it? Should I be brash and attempt to overcome any hurdles she may have and probably fail spectaculary or just continue not communicating with her for a while?"

      Ultimately it doesn't matter who she sees and who she gets with. The way I see it is that she's still has a high level of attraction towards you.

      I recommend you DON'T contact her AT ALL. You let her contact you. When she does, like I've said a few times, you ASSUME she wants to meet up. You create a definite date, you invite her around to YOURS with a bottle of wine and you have fun and hook up.

      Don't go over complicate things and DON'T overthink.

      I'm 100% if you stop contacting her she'll reach out at some point... till then focus on yourself and things you like and want to do!

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