Is it true that women say and do the most cruel things to the men they care for the most?

Lets face it, men can fuck up in relationships... Women can to... We all fuck up! We break eachothers hearts and sometimes we realized how badly we've fucked up when it's all to late and we look for forgiveness of even a doorway back in... Women sometimes put us through the biggest obstacles just to get back in, sometimes they change the lock to that door so you'll never get back in no matter how hard you try... They talk shit, call you names rub other men in your face just to hurt you... I've herd a theory that women are only total bitches to men they love and care for the most. Is this true? I've been told they just want you to feel the pain you've once caused them...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • While I feel that that is probably true I think there's only so much that a man should put up with in terms of trying to get "back in the door".

    One of the reasons I think that this happens is because the main thing that women want from men is security. The more trust that they placed in you, The more they lose when they feel they can't trust you so it hurts them immensely. To compound the matter, the place that you want to get back to you is where they trust you and feel secure with you again, but as they're trying to do that they're reminded of how they once trusted you and felt secure with you which brings up those negative feelings again. The bottom line is that it takes a very strong man and woman to overcome very deep transgressions in a relationship.

    I believe where most men make mistakes in this regard is trying to defend her actions too much. Where most women make the mistake is that they never let it go. They use the transgression as a form of power to ensure that it never happens again.

    Basically it's doomed to repeat until the woman decides to trust the man again and there's nothing that anyone can do about that except her. Sure the guy can put himself through all kinds of pain and suffering at her hands to prove how much she loves her but generally, from what I've seen it tends to just make her lose respect for him in the end because no woman wants a man that she can control, she may as well be in the relationship by herself and that's not what she wants.

    Ultimately you need to take a stand as a man and show her that you're worthy of respect even though you made a mistake. Don't rub it in her face and don't try to gloss over whatever happened. You don't need to.

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    • "I believe where most men make mistakes in this regard is trying to defend [their] actions too much."

    • Thank you soooo much... This shit just opened my eyes! Especially towards the end when you said the woman loses respect for him, that's where I'm at... I think it's time to move on.. And it's killing me inside that I have come this far only to lose... She's not the same and it's killing me and I can't find a way to get back in... Sleepless nights... Angry days... Frustration and I tend to tune the world out and fall into my own thoughts of isolation... I wish it wasn't this way... Either way man thank you

    • No problem. Glad I could shed some light in the darkness. Believe me when I say I know EXACTLY what you are going through. You can always message me if you need more support :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • I think you're going to find a lot of women might answer back that they've experienced cruelty from their male partners. Men and women have different ways to communicate their feelings for each other both when feeling love or when feeling hate. With women, much of the way they get their point across is by using a mental upperhand. This is when they'll calculate how they are going to defend themselves, making premeditated choices to hurt or how they will react. They know what they are doing. Men have more of a spike, where their reactions are sudden and harsh. In an argument they will be on a low-keel until they snap and roar something hurtful or punch a hole in the door as they stomp out of the house. Their frustration level spikes, but then comes down. Women have more of a steady climb to their anger, and lasts a longer period of time, and takes longer to come down from.

    I have never met anyone, man or woman, who isn't an asshole to their partner unless there was a reason for it. Usually, something terrible had to put them in that position, unless the person is just a naturally abusive twatburger. If that's the case - they are in a category all on their own. Abuse is abuse. But I think you're just talking about a regular relationship where one person is treating the other like shit after some shit actually happens.

    It does take time to win us over after fighting, and since we are communicative beings naturally, we take to things like talking to friends or posting on social media to get our feelings out so our friends and family can talk to us and make us feel better. Talking heals us, and not all of our talking is all that productive or nice to hear, but nonetheless, we rarely bottle things in, and what comes out in some way has to come out or else we'll get torn up inside. It's how women protect themselves emotionally until they have found some strength to handle a situation better between her and her partner.

    Hope this sort of helps. :/

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  • I think that if someone fucks up so badly that the other person refuses to have anything else to do with them, then it's not doing a cruel thing to hurt you. It's because you hurt them so badly that they have to try and keep you as far away from them as possible because they know that they'll let you back in and they're scared that you'll just do it again.

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    • Yeah... I've put up my " Bitch Shield " for nearly 5 years after getting burned a few times in my 20's , know the feeling !

    • Yeah, I've had it a few times, both with friends and with relationships. I don't see it as cruel - I mean, they shouldn't have been cruel enough to you to make you try to defend yourself any way possible, right?

  • Yes, but it's also very important to acknowledge that for whatever reason, THESE WOMEN DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE. They don't know how to take care of a man's heart.

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    • Agreed, but I have only seen evidence women love their kids. They only love what men do and provide for them, they love their utility value.

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    • Insane*πŸ‘†πŸ½

    • Congrats!

  • one qouestion, do you ever look youe ex girlfriend last seen on whatsapp?

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    • I don't even have that app. This is the only app I communicate with anyone on and it's not a app it's a website...

  • Women can be vindictive. Have you heard the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". It's a saying for a reason...

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  • Maybe true! Women always want the other person to feel what they put them through. I have a ex that have tried to get back with me for 7 years off and on. Truth be told I still love this man with all of my heart. As much as I would love to be with him I couldn't hurt myself again.

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    • What if he's sorryπŸ˜“ what if he would rather die than to hurt you again... He cries and scream Inside and it eats him away inside and he tries and tried everything to return go your arms...

    • How can he prove himself that it would never happen again... How can he show u he needs you

    • If you really love her let her know. Make sure the same thing you wrote on here is what you tell her. You might have to beg a little but never lose focus on what it will take to get her back. Good luck.

What Guys Said 5

  • When someone hurts you revenge comes to mind of course. But when someone you trusted and loved hurts you then you're going to be caught in some seriously mixed up feelings. It's certainly not a woman thing to want to give them a taste of their own medicine yet also want them back yet also want to avoid going through the whole thing again. The most logical path would be to make the other person feel guilty so they come back and are ready whenever you are which feels amazing of course. They are ready to try again and you can take your time healing but what the other person feels tends to be the farthest from your mind in this state however. It's a natural sense when hurt to seek attention from ones you love and especially from the one that hurt you.

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  • Well my wife loves me, but never tries to be intentionally cruel to me. Occasionally if i do something stupid she will talk to me about it but never in a way that makes me feel like an idiot. Maybe some women do, but not in my relationship :)

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  • We ALL fuck up at least once in our lives... anyone that states differently is a liar !!

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  • It's usually do to lack of communication and loyalty. Personality connection is a major ingredient in a relationship. One way of looking at it is knowing when to back off.

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  • No. People are generally cruel that way out of pride, not love.

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