I was/am? best friends with a woman for months, eventually we started dating. Then she asked to go back to friends as a sort of break. 2 months later she tells me it is completely over and she is now in a relationship with someone she just met.
I am heartbroken and know we can't ever go back to how we were.
She thinks we can still be great friends.
But interestingly I have 2 friends (1 also hers) insisting it is almost certain she will come back to me.
Here are their theories why:
* You 2 are just obviously perfect for each other, anyone can see that
* By telling you its over ASAP, she tried her hardest to spare your feelings = she does care about you. The fact she still wants you as a best friend is a sign she really likes you
* The fact she kept telling you she's confused and needs time means that she had doubts/fears about you (perhaps knowing you could be a future husband, you 2 are that perfect) and so she's taking the other road to try clearing out any doubts/fears she has about herself/relationships/other men (get it out of her system). This way she will realise it was you that made her happier than any other guy can. It will take a really long time (dont wait for her), but she will be back
* she's possibily filling in time until you lose the weight you promised to (which I am) and then she will come back as you're now the complete package (even if subconscienously, this seems to be cruel and a sign she's a bitch at heart)
* She doesn't 'love' him. Love takes a long time to develop, not just a few weeks. she's fooling herself into thinking she loves him to be with him. Its a lie. Also, she's already saying how he has flaws she's living with.. after only 2 weeks? These flaws will grow and more found and she will leave him
* she's only 25 (Im 31) and still very unsure of what love is. She has said herself she is only a naive 18yo when it comes to love
So, any of these theories true? My friends insist they aren't just consoling me but I really dont see any of this happening.
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, only the relationship between you and your ex knows if you are perfect for one another. So don't hold on to any feelings if that's all you have.
However, on the other hand her being confused is not a bad thing. Would you rather be with a woman that has her personal emotions sorted out? Or invest a few years into the relationship to find out the both of you have some emotions to figure out. Which my friend, will be much harder to cope with.
Give her the space and autonomy to be the person she wants to be and you do the same. You may even find a better person during that time period. Most importantly allow her to find herself. If you are bombarding her questions and phone calls you are only going to push her away. You'look be asking her to give you answers she's not prepared to give.
I don't believe she's shallow enough to wait until you lose a few pounds. She just may be relating to her finding happiness and you finding yours.
Keep your head up and continue being that awesome guy she first saw you as. Other people deserve to see it to.0
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