I was busy catching up with work and trying to be strong and normal as I have staff to manage.
I was up and down all over the place.
The last week or so I am not angry or as hurt anymore. Have had breif moments of hope. Brief moments of feeling a massive loss. But I am unable to fully grieve. I can't cry even though I want to. I don't know what I am I feel pretty empty.
I have the weekend off. It's a gorgeous day and I'm sat in my house alone and bored. But don't have the engery for anything else. I have been invited out tonight to see a band I really don't want to. Sounds silly but it's stressing me out trying to force myself out to socialise when I don't want to get drunk (they do) and force myself to try and enjoy something I won't. If it was just relaxing in a beer garden and having dinner I would be all over it.
Same as there are some free festivals on today I'd be all over that too.
I want to feel me again. I want to grieve and move on. It has only been two weeks. Give myself a break?
I know I am not coping well at all.
Maybe I should just call a friend who may want to do just that sit and chill out then turn in early for the night?
I don't want to sit and wallow and want to have a laugh and not talk about my problems with other people but the thought of that option gives me a heache.
I want to make an effort with these other girls. I tried sujesting free music festivals etc but there was no compromise.
Do I just be patient to let all this confusion pass? Do I really have to force myself to grice cry, better myself, get a new hobby, see friends, go partying right now to feel better like people say which helps?
Proper lost right now. I'm hoping he never drives past my place and sees my car here so often.
Give myself a break? Two weeks of this already has proper dragged on.
Most Helpful Girl
Don't pressure yourself. Just do the best that you can