Ex boyfriend won't give me my stuff back?

Alright so I was in a relationship with this guy for a little less than a year and a half. I broke up with him about 4 months ago due to him lying to me, his immaturity, him being manipulative and being emotionally abusive. I tried to make the break up as easy for him as possible, but he still took it pretty hard. I waited about 3 weeks before I sent him his things back, in the hope of avoiding any drama. He texted me once he got his things, and I asked him if he could send me mine. He told me he'd send it in the next day or so. Well, here it is 4 months after the break up, and I still haven't gotten anything except "I'll send it soon." I've asked him 4 times for my things. I can't go and get it myself, because he now lives in Kentucky, and I live in Virginia. Honestly I have no idea what to do. Any advise?

Updates:
Thanks for the help! I'll just cut my losses and consider it gone forever. Besides, it probably is covered in plenty of shit if don't want 😂 thanks again!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe try getting a attorney to write up a letter telling him you want your stuff back or your going to take legal action against him.. Yes any guy who keeps a girls things for 4 months is not the type of guy you want be with... That's what happens when you fall in love when your only 16 not that good to exchange stuff with each other at that age way too young i can see at least age 18 but that should be the limit.. Really there may not be much that you can do about getting your stuff back but the threat with legal action might put a scare into him so he will send your stuff to you really hard to say..

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Your only option is small claims court. Hire a lawyer and he'll threaten court action. The guy will probably settle and send your shit back, or its monetary value.

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  • Contact his parents. Maybe they'll be mature enough to mail it to you. It'll be awkward probably going to them about this but the guy is acting like a child so you need to talk with someone who's actually an adult and will act like one.

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  • Don't even take it back, by now it probably has semen, used it to wipe shit in his room like coke spills or buggers. Has let another chick wear it when she spent the night. And probably smells like ass

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  • Accept your shit is gone, some people are scum and it's more of a pain in the ass to deal with them than it is to buy new stuff.

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  • What is it he owns of your's? :o

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    • Well I found out he took quite a few articles of my clothing that I spent good money on, my pillow, again, that I spent good money on, and for some reason he has a lot of my jewelry. Now that I think of it he could be a cross dresser 😂

    • Well.. I wouldn't put it past him lmao.
      There was this kid down my road who used to walk around in his Mum's high heels and clothes etc..
      I just thought he was weird.. Plus he's one of those kids who thinks he's all that and throws his weight around. Got kicked out of school etc. Never liked him.

      Maybe what you did was for the best, there are some weird dudes out there. xD

    • This is just "stuff"! I didn't read this until after I posted my opinion, but seriously girl, just forget it. I know it sucks that you paid good money on clothes and jewellery but you should be letting it go. You really don't want that stuff back now with the memory it was all you fought for to get back. And a pillow? Get a new and better one! :)

  • that's the best choice.

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  • You are not in relationship. Both of you doing timepass each other.

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  • Beautiful girl
    And sex girl

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What Girls Said 4

  • Unless there are assets, or some kind of heirloom you want back, then sadly, forget it. Sometimes you have to consider the price of a relationship, and it is lesson learned - take your stuff before the break up next time.

    You just said it yourself, he's immature and emotionally abusive. You think he's going to turn in to Mr. Great Guy after a break up now and give you your things back? Hell no. He's going to make you miserable and keep contacting him begging him for it because that's his only form of control over you now. Unreasonable exes do this to "get back" at their exes for ending it with them. I had a guy nag at me for two years to give him back a message in a bottle curios that was worth maybe $20 he could have picked up again where he got it from, but oh no, he had to piss around and harass me for it until I changed all my contact information to make him stop it.

    It's not worth it. It's been four months already. Consider that your parting gift to him and let him sit there and stare at it and get himself all in a twist that he has no choice but to keep it or make an effort to give or throw it away.

    Sometimes you have to cut your losses, and I think this is one of those times. Get new stuff and detox this person out of your life. He knows he's being stupid. He just thinks he's got the best of you, but when you move on he'll have no more power over that and realize all his immaturity to get to you was wasted effort.

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  • I feel like he feels that's the closest thing he has to you.. Your stuff.. And maybe he's hoping that'll keep you contact with him.. That's happened to me before.

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  • Are they important things? You have gone 4 months without them so I say just let it go and replace them. If you do not want to do that get a court order. Small claims

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  • You could go to your local police and arrange a time when they will go with you to get your items from him

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