I feel lost inside myself. it hurt's a lot what should I do now?

i had this guy whom i have known for years and i loved him to death, we both fell in love with each other since school time , i was his most beloved girlfriend and i was the one who made him happy, everytime i was there for him through thick and thin we love each other so much that we even thought of marrying each other in the future he always talked about marrying me, having a pillow fight with me, cuddling loving each other and having two babies. And from his words he seemed very serious. i always had a dream to marry him only and i always wanted him in my life, i have never loved someone as much as i loved him. he is my everything it's so hard for me to leave him and forget him because he always gave me so much to remember he cared for me a lot. Though we had so many fights but still we ended up saying ''i love you'' to each other. we were so happy with each other until the day we talked about never leaving each other and he said in may ''but we have to leave each other one day and it's only because of one thing and that is our relegions''i knew that too but i still can't accept the fact that we have to leave each other. From that day till this day i cried a lot. i cried too much that i broke up with him but then i again went back to him because i can't leave him. i loved him so much that i started screaming while crying that why i even broke up with him? when i went back to him he said''for the first time he felt that he wants to hug me tight and cry'' i know him very well he is a very masculine and a tough guy, he's not sensitive at all he never cries. he even lost his one girlfriend before me entering into his life he felt sad but never cried. we both were so real and good for each other that he cried over me... My friend said that it's going to be hard for you to stay with him knowing that you both have no future with each other so move on right now or else your gonna be very hurt at the end , you've to do this or ask him to convert into my relegion..
I just don't know what to do my heart aches when i see he's not being online on facebook as usual like he's trying his best to move on from me..
i am hurting myself so much


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a touching story and it was sad to hear that, you both love each other, it's not your fault you fall in love with him nor his, it's the way it was meant to be, but since i know you are Muslim this dream may not come true unless he converts, but sometimes life hits you with a brick in the head but it goes on, let me tell you something i have been in this situation before (although my girl was muslim) and it was very difficult to move on, i cried a lot but it could not help at that night i moved on and it took me nearly 1 year to fully recover but looking back it was one of the best decisions i have made, my point is if he is not ready to convert then you need to take a big decision and move on.

    Hopefully sooner rather than later you will recover in sha Allah

    • I am trying to move on , i cry every time for him i pray for him day and night that he may convert and spend his whole life with me but after he said "where he was born he'll die there" when i asked him if he can convert or not. It really hurted me. I cry so much he was the only guy who made me Laugh smile angry but still no matter what i loved him and he loved me and i know he also cried he said to me to go back to him but i cried and said i can't we have no future
      we were lovers and now we act like friends only. 😔

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    • Thank you, i am happy i could help :)

    • Pleasure : )

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What Guys Said 4

  • My dear sister Hazal, even though I have never fallen in love before with a girl ( Muslim or non-Muslim) and even though I may not understand your feelings, but at least I think I can understand the reason behind them. Let me begin by saying that if your happiness is with this guy, then I really hope that he will convert and I really hope that you will find your happiness for the rest of your life inshallah.

    However, as you know, there's a possibility that he won't convert and this is why you are confused, from one hand you are in love with this guy, and from the other hand, you love your religion which doesn't allow women to marry non-Muslim men, so you are between these 2 things that you love very much and that is what causes the hurt and the lost that you are in right now, however just a reminder for you Hazal, please remember that even though we will love many things and many people during our life, but the #1 love must be toward the one who will love us all, the one who created us, the one who gave us all these blessings, the one and only who can have mercy on us in this life and the afterlife and the one who is eternal thus if you gain his love then we gain eternal love that is Allah S. W. T, we must love Allah more than anything in this life, more than ourselves, our family, our partners, money and literally everything because you know what? Even the closes people for us, even our mothers and our fathers who love us more than any human being, wallahi sister they won't benefit us in anything in the day of judgement, wallahi their love is meaningless without the love and the mercy of Allah, so this is why we must consider loving Allah more than any creation or anything, because if Allah loves us back then wallahi we have everything we want, and while you may wonder "why doesn't Allah allow me to marry a non-Muslim?" ... "Why does Allah only allow men to marry non-Muslim girl?" And all of these questions and thoughts which may come to your mind, and those are normal thoughts that you may have but please always remember, that once we believed in Allah and once we put our trust in Allah, we already knew that Allah knows what goes better for us, we may not know and we may wonder and think why, but even though it may seem unfair that Muslim girls are not allowed to marry non-Muslim guys, but the one who says that is Allah that we submitted to and we believe in so he knows what's better for the Muslim girls more that anyone else. :)

    • May Allah S. W. T bring peace to your heart, may he guide you and all of us to the right path, may he take the sadness, the lost and the hurt away from you, i ask Allah that this guy will convert to Islam and you will marry him and find happiness with him, and if he didn't then may Allah help you to get over his and to find the right happiness that you deserve my dear lovely sister :)

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    • That's pretty cool, you are very aware and understanding of the situation :) ... Just put your trust in Allah and you will never be disappointed, and Eid Mubarak by the way. :)

    • Eid mubarak to u too brother 😊😊😊

  • Breaking up with someone, is tough
    But when two people love each other equally and seem to have such a strong bond, and something external forces (religion) tear them apart, it hurts more, its like you have no control, and the love still exists but you can no longer be with that person

    They say time heals all wounds, i think this will take a while!
    I really hope you and him can figure something out! love doesn't come around often!! especially something like this!

    • Yes that's why we both cried. he is a man and he cried little but was very hurted and I'm a girl i cry im sensitive i cry a lot i cry everyday every night we still talk with each other we still love each other he says he can never love someone else as much as he loved me. it's so hard for us to still stay together he says don't leave me and im not i can't move on he is my everything i just want a solution in the future i hope we can be together but these hopes are killing me im so impatient i beleive I'll lose him

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    • Thanks 😊

    • you are most welcome pretty lady =)

  • This is so sad! It is the main reason why I do not tolerate religious differences when they cause this. Why bother with a religion if it's going to cause grief like this. In my view, it would be the first thing to be kicked into touch! Forget about cultural requirements to follow a particular religion! That is nothing more than blackmail and control. It's only dominance by others over you that is keeping you apart. Sod that. You and your guy have but one life here. Go and enjoy it together. The world won't disappear in a flash of lightning. You won't be condemned to hell forever. Relious differences arae causing too much warfare right now. When it encroaches on individuals freedom, then it's time to call a halt.

    My guess is that one of you is Muslim or one of the strict Christian faiths, and the other isn't.

    When and if I ever get married, I don't care what religious path my wife follows. But it WILL take second place to our family life and WILL be agreed right back at the first few dates. I will never let it go as far as you've come and finally having to part.

    • That's right, i'm a muslim and my ex is a christian.
      we both are so relegious that none of us are in willing to convert ,
      i always blame myself for loving him back and accepting him when he confessed his feelings to me, i knew he was from a different relegion and i knew we have no future with each other. it would just be a wasting of time if we spend time together we are misfit for each other. And it's all because of the relegion differences.
      but we both didn't even cared about our relegion differences and fell in love with each other so badly that it's being so hard for the both of us to move one whenever i try to move one he would always pull me back and i feel like i again have the whole world and i don't feel to let go of myself.
      i just don't know what to do..

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    • I already decided what i have to do.
      i am just leaving him , i know I'll cry so much of leaving him but i didn't do that on purpose. i had to do this because we had no future...
      i just hope i will have the strength to move on
      thanks anyways!

    • I ask the Gods and Goddesses of all religions to make your sadness bearable and to guide you through the darkness to come.

      Take care, stay safe!

  • I believe if i love a girl lot and need to convert to her religion i would do so but in your case something just didn't happen with you two... Hey i fell in love with girl online and she was Muslim religion she wanted to come to the US and i told her i would convert to her religion but she didn't want stay her religion ,, she wanted to convert to Christian but she stopped emailing me and it will be 4 years this Aug since we last talked and i loved her so much and would cry when i miss her online or we couldn't talk I've also asked myself what's happened to her cause like she has completely disappeared from the Internet and it sort makes me wonder ,

    • i feel sad for you , well maybe something happened to her or maybe there's some reason why she dissappeared. but at least you were in willing to convert into her relegion, when it comes to the relegion topics that , one day we will leave we will get hurt a the end my ex always used to say ''hmm'' or ''i know it will hurt the both of us''
      and i just don't understand. i i just sometimes feel so confused, so i broke up with him because we had no future unless he will convert into my relegion. and now he said that he can't live without me he can't stay friends with me because he is in love with me, he even said that ''kill me i don't have any reason to live ''i don't know what to do, i cry every time and i have no idea why do i still have those hopes that maybe he will change his mind. i am just killing myself

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    • Your Welcome <3 :D ;p

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't believe that time heals all wounds.. But it can lessen the pain..
    I.. Don't know how to really say it.. But I felt kinda sad reading this post..
    I hate how unfair life/love is.
    I wish that you'll be able to forget him.. But I know from experience it's almost impossible to forget someone you love..
    I wish you feel good..
    Remember, after sadness there's happiness..
    And after pain, there'll be joy.
    That's the balance of things.
    Be happy. For the future cause you know that if today you're not happy.. Doesn't mean you'll never be happy..
    I wish you happiness..

    • Those are really kind and encouraging words thanks but i won't be able to forget him he was my first and last love and every time i cry when i remember... it's just hard for me to control myself

  • Why does anyone have to convert?
    My question is... Are you not allowed to marry whomever u want, as long as there is love?
    Im asking this, because i am in a similar situation, eventhough it is the reverse: he's muslim, i'm christian (and no one intends to convert).
    I don't know if I will b with him forever, but if I do, I won't convert and I wouldn't ask him to do the same, as faith is something personal.

    I just dont understans what prohibits ufrom marrying him. As far as i know, it is allowed.

    • I read some comments now. I don't know what to say about this. Even because it is not my place, since I am not muslim.
      I dont understand, however, why is it that men are allowed that privilege and women are not. Just doesn't seem right. Im sorry if I offend anyone.

      But even in my religion there are things with which i do not entirely agree.

      Im so sorry. I don't know whatelse to say except: if u love this guy is there really no chnace at all that u can b with him without him converting?

      Is it like this in all islam?

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    • Ok. Even if I dont exactly agree. I respect it is your religion and you wish to follow it. Wish you all the happiness for your life. And his too.

  • It's very hard to let go of your first true love. You have to be honest with yourself about it. If it's going to hurt you more to hold on, then you have to let go. Don't allow yourself to be tied down to one guy. It's going to be hard but you can do it. Religion is a very touchy subject for many people, I don't think you can really ask someone to just believe a different religion. It wouldn't be fair to them and it probably wouldn't make them happy. I still have some very strong memories with my first love, and that's ok. Take care of yourself, do what you know is right; what's best for you.

    • it's really really hard to let go of your first love.
      seriously i have always tried to let go but his words keep replaying in my mind that he loves me to death and there's no one who would ever make feel very much loved as much as he did. That's true. he always gave me so much to remember that i just can't move on. i try every time but he's stucked in my mind. :(

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