So where do we stand after our breakup? HELP?

he said that my life is so put together because i'm about the graduate and he's still taking his time in school because his parents are gone and he still wants to dabble in some drugs etc. we had an explosive breakup despite having a good relationship, we'd said i love you 2 weeks before but he said he just couldn't do it anymore because he felt like it was just going to happen again. i begged him to reconsider, he said he wanted space, i gave him 5 days to tell me what he wanted, and i ended up calling him because i knew and that's when he told me. originally i was very upset and wanted nothing to do with him, but then i actually started to feel sorry for him because of the decisions he was making, despite being a very nice guy. so i texted him:

"i just wanted to let you know that i have no hard feelings for you or our relationship. i relaized that i already knew that there were fundamental things that we couldn't come to an agreement on, despite trying. i should've put a stop to it when i kenw it couldn't work the first time, but ending things are never easy. and it's always sad. i don't blame you or myself for what happened. i'll look back and think of happy memories fondly. i wish you the best and the door is open on my end to be on good terms"

he said: "that's really mature of you. thank you. i've been wanting to apologzie for how things ended but i wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me. i'm really sorry for how we ended up doing everything over the phone. i was scared of facing the situation and wasn't confident in addressing it. you deserved so much more than that. i really appreciate you and i'm so thankful for this opprotunity you've given me. i will always cherish what we had and know that the best in life is coming for you."

i said: "thank you, i'm glad we're on the same page. talk to you soon" he never responded. is that good or bad?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Dabbling in drugs" describes his behavior in a way that tends to minimize it. However, from your post, I assume that you do not participate in the drug culture and that is a huge difference to have between you two.

    Whatever other differences there were, I have been in a relationship where the girl thought that I was "too good" for her (I never thought so) and she was convinced that it would never work and therefore refused to let herself go and get committed to making it work. There is nothing you can do about his attitude, nothing that you can say which will make a difference.

    It was a mature way to end the relationship but you need to understand the most important point of all. You ended the relationship. It was not a trial balloon to see how everyone felt about ending it; you actually ended it. It's over.

    You are asking what it means that he didn't respond. It means that he did ot want to get sucked into engaging in a dialogue that might lead somewhere other than splitsville. Remember the good parts fondly, learn your lessons from the unpleasant parts, and move on.

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    • Dabbling in drugs meaning doing nitrous and coke every once in a while. I thought I could be okay with the coke but after being put in an uncomfortable situation, I didn't want to be around it. With the "talk to you soon part," I was just leaving the door open for friendly conversation or face to face interaction, if he wanted it. As he didn't give me any face to face interaction since before the breakup. I guess it was just a white flag to give so he won't feel "afraid" of me.

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    • which is why i said, "thank you. i'm glad we are on the same page" as in, i'm glad we both agree that this is over. and i meant that.

    • When one person really doesn't want the breakup and they don't want to accept it, they may say whatever they need to say to placate the other one, but they are still hoping for a reconciliation. They may insist that they agree with the breakup although they don't, and they will say things like, "Let's still be friends. I really mean it," but they really mean, "Let's keep talking so we can resolve the problems and get back together." So, it doesn't matter whatever you actually meant, he probably interpreted it as you not accepting the breakup and that's why he went silent on you.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Its a closure that's taken place
    There won't b a reply
    And u will b fine things will get better !

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  • He needs his space. He probably wants to distance himself from you. He's hurting right now too.

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