My ex cheated on me, and I can't seem to forget it. I wish I could talk to someone about it but I feel like they won't understand. Am I the only who's gone through this? Cause that's just how I feel.
Most Helpful Girl
I lost my virginity to my ex and woke up the next morning to find out he was paying hundreds of girls (and occasional men) for sex. He was messaging every cute girl on his facebook, and on top of that doing other creepy stuff like drug dealing and being an addict. He was great at hiding it with affection. At first, I went into shock for MONTHS, and I handled it the wrong way - my shock and the trauma I had felt made me go numb, so I didn't dump him, or feel anything, or really live my life at all, I just went numb and stayed with him until he hurt me continuously.
First, you have to realize it wasn't you. Your relationship was probably happy, healthy, and you probably had a great sex life. 99% of the time, it isn't you - it is the other person who is selfish or too afraid to leave you or talk to you if he's having problems. Cheating is weak, and that's his fault, not yours.
You need to block him from everything. His number, facebook, all social media. BAN yourself from going and double checking on his life for forever, or at least for 6+ months. If you don't, you will constantly be checking on him, getting envious, or getting sad seeing him. It's like a drug, if you go check his social media once, you won't be able to stop, trust me.
I know this sounds wrong, but it does help to focus on the hate for a while. If you are angry at him, it helps you forget and blur out the good memories, and helps you realize that it wasn't your fault, it was his, and you were his loss.
Lastly, please listen: Do not go back to him. I was with my ex for two years, and I wish I had only been with him for a week. I saw red flags from week one. He may cry, bawl, beg you, buy you necklaces, email you constantly and randomly, and do everything he can, and promise you a billion times that he has changed magically, but no. People don't change for you, they change for themselves, because people who cheat tend to be selfish, so they are not thinking about YOU when they apologize, they're thinking about how THEY want you back and how THEY need you, not about how you are feeling. Do not go back. If you go back to him, ever, you will get hurt endlessly - I had a million people tell me this, I didn't listen, and my self esteem and confidence got shot to the ground in ways I never thought possible - this was after the 5th time of discovering he was cheating.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, but be strong and don't let it define you. Good luck. Message me if you need to talk.1