Girls, have any of you been cheated on? & how do you get over it?

My ex cheated on me, and I can't seem to forget it. I wish I could talk to someone about it but I feel like they won't understand. Am I the only who's gone through this? Cause that's just how I feel.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I lost my virginity to my ex and woke up the next morning to find out he was paying hundreds of girls (and occasional men) for sex. He was messaging every cute girl on his facebook, and on top of that doing other creepy stuff like drug dealing and being an addict. He was great at hiding it with affection. At first, I went into shock for MONTHS, and I handled it the wrong way - my shock and the trauma I had felt made me go numb, so I didn't dump him, or feel anything, or really live my life at all, I just went numb and stayed with him until he hurt me continuously.
    First, you have to realize it wasn't you. Your relationship was probably happy, healthy, and you probably had a great sex life. 99% of the time, it isn't you - it is the other person who is selfish or too afraid to leave you or talk to you if he's having problems. Cheating is weak, and that's his fault, not yours.
    You need to block him from everything. His number, facebook, all social media. BAN yourself from going and double checking on his life for forever, or at least for 6+ months. If you don't, you will constantly be checking on him, getting envious, or getting sad seeing him. It's like a drug, if you go check his social media once, you won't be able to stop, trust me.
    I know this sounds wrong, but it does help to focus on the hate for a while. If you are angry at him, it helps you forget and blur out the good memories, and helps you realize that it wasn't your fault, it was his, and you were his loss.
    Lastly, please listen: Do not go back to him. I was with my ex for two years, and I wish I had only been with him for a week. I saw red flags from week one. He may cry, bawl, beg you, buy you necklaces, email you constantly and randomly, and do everything he can, and promise you a billion times that he has changed magically, but no. People don't change for you, they change for themselves, because people who cheat tend to be selfish, so they are not thinking about YOU when they apologize, they're thinking about how THEY want you back and how THEY need you, not about how you are feeling. Do not go back. If you go back to him, ever, you will get hurt endlessly - I had a million people tell me this, I didn't listen, and my self esteem and confidence got shot to the ground in ways I never thought possible - this was after the 5th time of discovering he was cheating.
    I'm really sorry this happened to you, but be strong and don't let it define you. Good luck. Message me if you need to talk.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It took a very very veryyyyy long time. Well, it seemed like a long time. I was such a mess. And I know what you mean by other people not understanding. Because whoever I talked to would be like "Ok get over it... he cheated hello, move on." But it wasn't that simple. It took so much effort, lots of mistakes, but here I am a year later, over the whole situation. You need to give yourself a lot of time. But make that time productive, everyday try to detach yourself from him, remember all the shit he did. And after a while, go out and meet friends and other people. just keep yourself REALLY busy so you won't think about it emotionally. (Its not avoiding it because you already cried about it so much). Just dont let it sink it. I found another person and although I didn't love him that much it helped because I was so distracted being worried and caring for another person I didn't really wanna give a fuck about my ex.

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  • Yes I have been cheated on by a previous boyfriend. I just got him out of my life as soon as possible and went to my friends for support. Also, I fell into a state of depression, so I went to get professional help before I did something I would regret.

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  • My ex cheated on me, he is also my foreman and lives two houses down. So I was forced to see him everyday. It took me 6+months to get over it.

    I started by burning pics and letters. Along with deleting him of fb and my phone. The less you are reminded of him the better. I also read an article called how to fall out of love and it helped.

    Once the feelings had passed, I started flirting with him again, he is still seeing the chick he cheated on me with so it made me feel powerful yhat I could draw his attention back. Then we got really really drunk one night and he tried to sleep with me. So I let him beleive for hours that I would. Then I told him I felt very sick and had to leave. I did however leave my under wear at his place so the little slut that he was seeing would know.

    I know it sounds very bitches. But I believe, in a situation where a man has made you question everything you are and believe in, that you need to do what ever works to get your own sence of power back!!!

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  • not necessarily but my ex did lied to me about having a new girlfriend. it's been 4.5 years since we broke up but i don't care anymore, i'm over him. i'm here to focus on me, and what's important in life such as pursuing my passion for writing and setting very strict expectations on what i want in life and in men

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