How do I get back together with my ex?

So I (24m) had an amazing relationship with my ex girlfriend (20f) for a little over a year, we met at our current job and both wanted the relationship and loved eachother. We had the same intereats and the same views... I wanted to marry this girl. I unfortunately became insecure by the end of the relationship and kept harping on asking her why she loved me and wanted me which obviously turn anybody off. We got into a huge argument a few days before we went on vacation with her whole family for her birthday/ our 1 year (which i started the fight) and I had to leave early because the vacation was too hard on me due to her not knowing if the relationshio was gonna last (not to mention her not wanting to kiss me ON our anniversary) and she took that as the final straw. She broke up with me a few days after she got back from the vacation. Now I have done the usual begging for her back during the first few weeks of the breakup which I know now was not smart, I then laid off of that because i felt pathetic, then tried to just talk to her and got nowhere, so I decided to just use that no contact rule just to fully fix myself and be ready to talk to her with a clear minds and bother of us not angry. Since then I learned what I did wrong and hasn't been moping and feeling sorry for myself. It's been almost a month of not talking to her and almost 2 months of us breaking up, she still seems angry at me and whenever I ask if she needs help at work she is totally stubborn about it (because we work in retail and the situation usually is she (a 5'3 small woman) is trying to lift a 70' tv by herself instead of ask for help from me who can lift it with ease) and one time she apparently saw me and had to go to get a breather because she froze up on the sales floor and was noticeable by everyone (and she dumped me). I still love her and really do want a future with her and wanted to know what should itext her to try to meet up and slowly get things into a new relationship?

Updates:
Ladies if you have any opinions or advice that could help me later on I would fully appreciate it... right now I need to get myself back in check but I would enjoy the endgame being with her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Then why did you stop contact to begin with? If you answer this I can probably give you better insight.

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    • Like I said, I did it for both me and her:

      Me because I was a mess at the beginning and later looked at myself and felt disgusted at the insecure desperate crazy that I brought out. I love her with all my heart and want a fresh start with her but I also have to have respect for myself at the end. I did the no contact so I could make myself better from getting into the best shape of my life to learning valid ways I did wrong for the whole relationship.

      Her because she needed space, and if you have a crazy ex going at you all the time, you'll rip it into reverse and back the fuck away. Im doing no contact for her because she needed me to not smother her, it's hard for me not to talk to my best friend but if I do it'll just freak her out... and maybe those bullshit "get your ex back" articles are right and the no contact will make her miss me.

      I mainly am doing this to take care of myself and get my emotional life back on the right track... so when I try again with her Im not the old e

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    • You're****
      Why do people think this no contact thing actually works? Its a shitty fucking thing to do. What is worse to show a human being than indifference?#?

    • So sorry, I'm just rereading this and I put the " 'bitch behaviour' and you turning me round on this" but that was to a different post altogether. I'm sorry for the confusion. It was early am and I was responding to both and got confused lol😊

      However my last paragraph pertains to this post. Sorry again

What Guys Said 1

  • You're just going to have to give her more time. People's feelings will fade with time so you have to wait it out. There is a chance that she will never want to get back together though, so I'd advise you to move on, and use this as a learning experience. Maybe one day it will work out, but no sense in potentially wasting your life waiting for a girl that will never want you.

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    • No I understand, like I said I'm not going out of my way to make her love me again because obviously no one can make someone love them. That's why I'm not trying to force things and giving space... it's for myself to get myself back to normal and back to having common sense.

    • And moping around waiting will kill you lol

    • lol yeah well it sounds like you have the right attitude. Hope it works out for ya

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