Why does it seem like guys move on so quickly after a breakup?

I'm only speaking from experience and my surroundings. I'm sure it's not exclusively guys who do this, but most of the guys I know and were in relationships seem to do this.

Well, my ex and I got married at 21, he was my high school sweetheart. I'd thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. We dated when we were 16 and briefly broke up when we were 18/19 to date others. Then 3 months before my 20th birthday, we were back at it. He asked me to marry him that autumn and after only being 21 for 6 months, we wedded the week before Thanksgiving. We stayed married for 2 1/2 years and that last 6 months was misery. Our communication WAS TERRIBLE. We were fighting all of the time and never agreed with anything. The things we used to find cute about one another was becoming repulsive. Yet, through it all our sex life was amazing and we always told one another how much we love eachother, so for that, it wasn't too bad. Those last 3 months before we decided to call it quits, my husband got in touch with an old friend who happened to be female. He spoke to her for hours before bed and locked himself in the bathroom. He would tell me how much they got along and I became enraged with jealousy. That's when I became a different person. Not even a full 3 months, I'd say about 9 weeks, he moved out to live with a male friend. That's when I was at my lowest. I didn't eat, sleep and started taking off days from work. I realized that I couldn't do it and filed for divorce. Little did I know, he already did. He came to me and told me that he's in love with this woman and wanted to be with her. He apologized and told me that he still loves me but he said that our personalities aren't alike and we can't seem to get along. I felt like crap, like he never loved me. I ended up leaving and moving in with my girlfriend and I help her with bills now.

As of today, they are already engaged. My husband and I are both 24 and this particular woman is only 21. How can he move on so fast after only a couple of months?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This isn't a guy thing. It's an immaturity thing. I guarantee he will get tired of this new chick before long too, and he clearly never learned how important commitment is, so he'll break up with her for another chick, just like he did with you. He might even try to come back to you but you sure as hell should not let that happen. One day maybe he'll grow up and realize that relationships are hard work (don't get your hopes up), but until then, he's just going to be stuck in this cycle.

    The best you can do is use this as a learning experience. Thankfully it doesn't sound like you have kids so at least you can completely cut him out of your life and move on without too much trouble. Make sure you always have excellent communications in your future relationships, and I would advise not marrying someone that you've broken up with before.

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    • Thanks for the solid advice. I definitely feel like a lot of his actions are based off of impulse. I do try to wish him good even though I'm heartbroken. I just feel like I should be single for awhile.

    • You're welcome. And yes, everything gets better with time. Just take your time, and like I said, do your best to completely cut him out of your life, because that is the quickest way to get over him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • statistically they date before they've moved on. it appears hey moved on but they never actually id so they bring baggage. women tend to process stuff and wait it out. but of course this is general. there could be 3 billion men who rebound and 2 billion women who rebound... so more men but still A LOT of women.

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    • I agree. I've heard and seen it too, just mostly from men.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm going on 15 years since my last breakup and I'm just now starting to consider dating again. Every guy is different, as is every breakup. Some hit closer to home than others. I'm sorry for your situation, though.

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    • Wow. I feel like its going to take me awhile before I feel like I'm ready for a new relationship. Just hurts to see the person you said 'I do' to just move on to the next like you were just another transaction for them.

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    • Thank you for that. I truly needed to hear that.

    • You're most welcome. =^.^=

      And if ever you feel the need to talk, don't hesitate to send a message. I'll do my best to help!

What Girls Said 4

  • Some guys like to move on so fast have social disorders my guy was narsassitic and he was with some one before he ended it with me because they need to depend on others and are to weak to be alone. Learn to be love yourself and be alone it gives you strgenth

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  • Wow how did you get him to marry you during high school? Were you not focused on your studies? Did you guys always sex? What is going on?

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    • Umm... we were already college seniors when we got married. We're both 24 now. We aren't together anymore.

  • For a simple answer, I feel like people that are the type to move on quickly do it to ease their pain from the previous relationship.

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    • True. Makes sense, but they aren't fully in it. It's like putting a band-aid over the problem instead of healing it first.

    • I agree, I think it's healthy to actually feel your feelings rather than just brushing them away.

  • If it makes you feel better he'll probably be even more likely to get a divorce now. Statistically since neither of them are at least 25 and since he's already gotten married once the second marriage is even more likely to end up in a divorce.

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    • True. Also, he's marrying on impulse. BIG MISTAKE.

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