How would you fix this misunderstanding with your boyfriend?

My guy and I have been going through a rough patch for about a week or two. He's a great guy, but he's also been very inconsiderate at times and though I've told him how I felt, he hasn't seemed to understand how to fix it. We had two fights this week, one was when he was over at my house all day, I'd fallen asleep early because I worked and when I woke up, he was going to go get food with my roommate, and randomly announced he was going home afterwards instead of staying over. My roommate and I were confused because we both thought they'd take one car but he said since it was "so close" to his house, he wanted to go home now and not wake up in the morning. I thought he was being selfish and it was also 2 am, why now to leave?

After we resolved that, he promised we'd do something the next day, and we had resolved the fight/misunderstanding and I jsut waited for him to see what he wanted to do. at 8 pm, he asks how my day is, what we want to do for the weekend and he said he's done nothing but sit on the couch all day with his roommate. I said my day was fine, and that's good he got stuff done, but I thought we had plans. He said "sorry I got caught up playing poker with my roommates, can i make it up to you?" and I said that's okay I could do other things and he said "i'm sorry i should've said something, let me take you out." and I said: "this is what i mean by you being inconsiderate. this is stressing me out and i just need some space, since you like thinking about yourself a lot just do that." and he never responded. The next day was my housewarming party and he didn't reach out or even come.

I asked him if he wants to break up or are we working this out and he said "breakup or not i want to be there for you and be your friend when you need it. let's go to this party tonight and just hang out and worse case scneario you walk away with friends and no hard feelings" and I was like no wtf and told him to get his things. When he did, he said "It's not working"


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This isn't a misunderstanding, this is you being passive aggressive and starting drama.

    You could have just messaged him early in the day and asked what he was planning for you.

    You call this a misunderstanding when he tried to hang out with you twice and you said no both times after telling him you need space. You are being a horrible, unreasonable girlfriend, and unless you change your approach toward him, he doesn't want your unreasonable, self centered attitude.

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    • I didn't message him during the day because I was working, and I know he doesn't like to bother me. And he did say that I could've just messaged him, and I apologized for that. But he's done this several times, and I guess I just blew up. But he thinks its just going to happen again, but every time we've ran into this problem, I've asked him in person why he does that, and he said he just forgets sometimes and didn't know that that was wrong.

    • Show All
    • Thank you, I think you've completely understood me in this situation. I hope things work out too. I should've just told him how sensitive it makes me and helped him understand, but you're right, I do have a harder exterior that's often a facade to help protect myself from getting hurt. At this point we're done for good, but of course I still love him and I hope one day we both can see that we can be okay and that all we needed was just one big, honest talk. I hope that can happen.

      I very much appreciate you talking with me :)

    • Because aside from all of this, we had a very happy and growing relationship

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you and your boyfriend have communication issues.. you're both taking things the wrong way/misunderstanding and I think you should talk about it but be civil. Try not to let hurt feelings get in the way of resolving your small issues. The reasons behind the break-up don't seem like a huge deal it's not like he cheated or anything, work it out if you miss him. Try not to get too angry or take things to heart it will lead to him being more distant and more arguments. Just relax and think reasonably.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • You can only fix it by sitting down and talking to him about it face to face. A lot has been said and done so you both need to talk it out and hear each other out.

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