How should I approach this?

My ex and I are planning to meet and talk on Monday. This is a serious talk because he has spoken to two friends of ours about getting back with me, however how do I approach the situation. We have a lot to talk about and it's a lot that I am thinking about on my end. He feels nervous of how other people will react when I come back into his life (this hasn't happened to him) and I am nervous as well (usually when I am done with a guy, I am done, however this is very different for me). I have 3 main topics that I know I need to address 1. Why did the break up happen? Why come back? and that if you come back into my life know that this is it. I can't keep waiting for him and he needs to know that. 2. He has to apologize to my mother (he has hurt her and others for breaking up with me because they had to see me go through a really hard time) and 3. How we can make sure that our second chance at being together is a healthy mature one. It's tough but I am ready for him to come back. I know I did things wrong and will make sure to address them, however I just am ready for him to come back and to grow together. Like he spoke to his closest friend for 3 hours the other night about me and our relationship so I just know that he and I are walking out of the dinner as a couple with a very different view on how we want to be together (we spoiled each other within the 4 months of being together, saw each other 3-4 times a week and always talked on the phone from morning to night so in a way we smothered each other and never got a chance to just breath and enjoy each other).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The mechanics of who said what that led to the breakup are not too important. What is more important is what were the underlying problems that led to the breakup. And. . . what are you going to do to address those problems?

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    • Well certain issues we had was 1. Seeing each other too much when we just dated for 4 months (not complaining but we got attached to quick) 2. I kept saying certain things to him that wasn't correct, made him doubt us and I just didn't realize that until after 3. He said something that made me feel embarrassed at times in front of his friends (though no one heard it, except for one) it really had me feel upset 4. Kept overthinking things when I should've been more cool and more positive, we took things too seriously and he was too uptight at times. I am sure we will say more, however I know where I stand with him is to be his partner but to also let him have his own little space for himself like I would want my own.

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What Guys Said 2

  • First thing I would do is discuss those things, you need to figure out everything that went wrong. Then you need to figure out why you want to get back together. After that, leave the past in the past, take things just like a new relationship, don't jump right into it expecting to start where you left off.

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  • It's over and instead of forcing a compromise in order to reinstate the relationship, you should just part ways. A compromise is when neither person gets what they want and in the end you will both end up resenting each other. Just stay away. Good luck.

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