I called it quits on wed. Did I do the right thing? she is still living with her ex?

We've been on and off past 6 months, but this week i called it quits altogether, I've had enough of her mind games. 2 months ago she said we should just be friends and it won't be fair on me coz she still lives with her ex fiance whom she moved to this state for and is financially still attached to him.

I still want her and can't stop thinking about her.
Is it good to be friends and hope she will be with me one day?
Did she play me or is saying the right thing?
I feel bad but i have to selfish in this situation right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • May I have a little more backstory on your relationship please? I might be able to get a fuller view and answer your questions

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    • We met in dec via work. Spoke for a few weeks. Then we went on a first in Jan as friends. Then on the second date we went dinner and kissed. Third date i asked her more deeper questions she said she was fully over her ex and ready to move on and meet someone.. we had sex etc. so we spoke and saw each other on a regular basis of which i probably wasn't trying as much then she mentioned it so i began to try more which consequently she began to give less effort and i confronted her on it she said she realised she wasn't as ready as she thought she was so mutually decided to be friends in April, but we still saw each other weekly for coffee/drink after work etc.
      She kissed me whenever she pleased but when i did she pulled back so i got pissed off and ended it last week.

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    • Well she told me she's holding back too. Holding back the urges to kiss, have sex for my own sake. Because she said she doesn't want to lead me on. Is she telling the truth?

    • It sounds like she is

Most Helpful Guy

  • Walk Away.
    I don't think it's a good situation to put yourself in, and it definitely will not help your anxiety.
    She seems to be confused/not sure of what she wants... You don't want to go down if she makes a decision not in your favour, In time, she might have it all figured out

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • I think you did the right thing. She's not in a good place to move on and neither are you, honestly. Just stop contacting her and see what happens.

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  • Haha Okay, she's just using you - for something - I don't know what it is.

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  • You did the right thing by cancelling the wedding. How could she still be connected to her ex?

    You should try to be her friend, but try to move on from her. She doesn't seem ready to settle down. Your woman is cohabiting with a man she used to be romantically involved with.

    Any dude would feel slightly anxious knowing that fact

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    • I didn't cancel the wedding, the ex said he didn't wana marry her last sept 2014.
      Since then she's never moved out and continued to live with him.
      She says She's over him and they're no longer romantically involved... but hey who knows

  • Yeah you did the right thing. She needs to get her shit together. Maybe not even try to be friends since you still really like it. It's better to move on.

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  • Did you try asking her to move in with you first? Maybe she is living with him because she doesn't have any other options?

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    • Its a little bit early for that i reckon sorry

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    • The question is.. am i worth it for her to move out? For her to move on from the ex?

    • Ask her! If you like her, and she is a sweet, honest girl. She will give you an honest answer. Explain how you feel, ( that you feel you can't really give the relationship a real chance if she is still living with her ex). Talk through options with her. Maybe she could move in with a friend, sister, brother etc.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes this was a very smart idea. Any girl that lives with her ex is a bad idea to mess with.

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