HELP! I was cheated on by the guy I was dating and one of my ''friends''. What do I do?

I was dating a guy before leaving for a 5 week trip in Europe. Before I left, he told me he loved me and would wait for me. During my trip, we spoke everyday and we skyped almost every 2-3 days. We play soccer in a league for fun before I left (in Canada) and when I was gone he met one of me friends at a soccer practice. They started talking, added each other on facebook and even started snapchatting. Right after he met her, he started being more distant with me and towards the end of my trip he told me he only wanted us to remain friends, that he never meant it when he told me he loved me, that I was the one that intense and he never felt anything for me other than friendship.

I suspected something was going on between my friend and him, but my friend told me she would NEVER do that to me and she swore nothing would ever happen between her and him. (and many times!)

I have been from Europe for almost two weeks now and I learned yesterday that they are seeing each other behind my back and sleeping together. I don't know how to react or if I should confront either of them about it. The thing is, I am also going to see both of them at the soccer practice in 3 days... I feel betrayed and don't know what to do... HELP


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just go up to your friend and tell her you know about her abd the guy and that you don't want anything else to do with them. Both friendships are over. Don't let her even talk, just go up to her, tell her that looking her straight in the eyes and then leave.
    You don't have to leave soccer if you enjoy it, but if you can't deal with it then leave, find somewhere else to play soccer or start a new hobby.
    I'm so sorry this happened to you, but you gotta cut those two pieces of shit from your life now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Exile the both of them from your life immediately. Cut them off thoroughly and immediately like a Cancer that is slowly but surely going to eat away at your peace and joy if you don’t get rid of it. This means completely removing them from every aspect of your life: deleting and blocking them from every social media, deleting their phone numbers/blocking their phone numbers, and treating them both like air when they imply that they want to be acknowledged by you. Then you need to commit to choices that will prevent that ‘Cancer’ from coming back. Deleting them isn’t enough: you need to BLOCK THEM. You need to block their access of contacting you or reaching out to you. Not just because they don’t deserve to have you in their lives, but also as a favor to yourself so that you don’t have to witness their sleazy, disgusting, self-absorbed, tactless little relationship evolve on social media. First step is for you to cut them completely out of your life and commit to giving them no opportunity to be a continual presence in your life.

    Second step: Cry. You have been severely betrayed. Two people who were supposed to be loyal to you, have your back, and look out for you simultaneously stabbed you in the back then dumped an entire bag of salt all over your wounds. It’s natural for you to be hurting and it’s healthy for you to release that with tears. Just make sure you release it in a healthy way that doesn’t make you bitter. Rely on your support system of true friends and family.

    Third: Let time do it’s thing. This is going to sting for a long time but from the looks of it, you are young, ambitious, athletic, social, and you have a lot going for you! Life has a lot of wonderful, adventurous, beautiful offerings for you to take. It may be hard to see now, but they are doing you a favor by revealing themselves as snakes who don’t deserve you.

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    • Don’t even give them the opportunity to explain themselves. Sooner or later, it will get under their skin. :) Relieve yourself from the duty of pointing out to the both of them that they have a piss poor moral compass and they are two shitty, sleazy, disposable pieces of scum who deserve each other. Let them find out on their own when his wandering eyes start wandering…or he eventually feels her lack of loyalty. This is one of those situations where you should cry, be angry, and be devastated in private but present a happy, indifferent, strong self towards them in public. Just commit to doing your future self a favor by embracing their absence. Salvage your dignity and don’t entertain their slutty mess. Respect yourself and the future you enough to not waste any energy, focus, or time on them.

      Text him something like "I'm single. :) You just don't measure up." then ignore whatever he has to say, move forward with your journey while karma does it's thing :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • I feel so sorry for you Martine... this is not something you deserve.
    But indeed, you'll need to confront him. What was your source to know they're sleeping together? Is it a reliable source?
    You must of course be certain, before you confront him, that your info is correct.
    Otherwise you risk to screw up something precious :o

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  • He is a jerk!! He never loved you from the start.. He was just playing you... Maybe he only wanted sex from you...

    So thats why he cheated on you!!!
    And your friend is the biggest bitch over here... she is a backstabber and was a fake friend...
    Remove these two people out of your life... forever and never ever give two fucks asking them... You dont need people like these in your life !!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ewwww! That is so rude of them! Dang! I would just let it go for now. Think of all the money you're saving on souvenirs by not buying for them! Treat yourself to something nice and enjoy the rest of your awesome vacation. You're in EUROPE! That's fantastic!

    Then go home and proceed to cut them out of your life. You deserve way better than two liars.

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    • I'm already back from Europe hahah :P I've been back for two weeks now and my friend told me, more than once and in person, that she would never do that to me. But everytime I brought the subject of him, she would become uncomfortable... Now that I'm back home do I confront them about it? Or I just never speak to either of them again?

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    • hey no prob at all!! :P and I think that's a very good idea. THANK YOU!

    • Whew! Well good luck! I think you have a really good attitude about the situation :)

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