Was asking my ex back a bad idea?

I was upset he didn't acknoledge we had plans one night, even though he was trying to make plans for the weekend, I said this type of behavior is stressing me out and I need space for a second. He didn't respond. He didn't go to my housewarming party the next day even though he was invited. I asked him the next day if he wants to break up or not. He said he still wants to go to the party he was talking to me about. I said no, come get your things. He says it's not working out because this is going to happen again. I didn't get his text after I said I needed space, he let me read it from his phone and I felt bad and said I'm sorry I misunderstood the situation, apologized for acting so harshly. I said let's just talk it out, move on from it and start fresh. He wanted time to think and said he'd let me know in a few days.

5 days go by, and he hadn't said anytihng. I called him, he said he misses me but he thinks this is going to happen again. He said I was insecure about the stripper thing and that he "tried to help me" and I didn't trust him. I said I would going forward bc I was wrong to him about that. I didn't want to throw away a happy relationship over this.

One night after some fun, I blacked out and contacted him, wanting him to come over. next morning I apologized and said I just want to be his friend and I don't remember yearning for him or even texting him. He accepted it and said he was sorry for lying about his whereabouts and said that he wanted to be in a situation if there was something wrong he could come and help and to do what I want with his expensive stuff that I was trying to give his friend.

Updates:
3 days later I texted him and I said I understood why he did that and I appreciate it, but that after thinking it over I see that I'm still in love with him and that maybe I really I can't be friends with him at this point in time. I'm trying so hard to accept everything when it's not really what I want. I told him that I miss him and that I'd like to see him and if he's interested in that, he's more than welcome to reach out to me, but if not now he knows.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • if i remember well, was this da same guy who didn't come back to get yer things? so wot he respond now... will he come back and get em?

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    • he said do what i want with them but if i insist on giving them back then that's fine too. i said that after thinking it over I see that I'm still in love with him and that maybe I really I can't be friends with him at this point in time. I'm trying so hard to accept everything when it's not really what I want. I told him that I miss him and that I'd like to see him and if he's interested in that, he's more than welcome to reach out to me, but if not now he knows.

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    • why do you say "FOR NOW" ?

    • he doesn't feel ready yet for becomin anything more than friends... accordin to da other questionof urs as well

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What Guys Said 2

  • Asking exes back usually does not end well, you did all you could in your situation and I believe its best to learn from this and move on. Its not going to be easy, but I do not think he will take you back

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  • explain the stripper thing.

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    • he's living with his best friend and his weed dealer (a female) who is also a stripper. i wasn't okay with it, he said that i should get to know her, i found out that he'd known her less time than me, he said he wanted to live with people he knew but offered to move somewhere else to make me more comfortable, i said that i didn't want him to move somewhere because of me and have him resent me if its what he doesn't really want. so he liked that answer, i swallowed it and was happy for him when he got approved for the house, then he went to give her gas one day and then another she came over "jsut because" and i was like no my gut doesn't feel right about this and told him and he said that i should've said something if i wasn't comfortable and that i'm insecure about the stripper and i haven't given him a reason not to trust him. i said i know you're a good guy, i just don't like her and he said i'm insecure.

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    • you also have a good gut... don't EVER ignore it!

    • haha thanks. my only regret was maybe not trusting the situation more, i still wanted to support him. i was happy he found another place to live... just not with her.

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