What do people mean when they say "don't go looking for her, let her come to you", "just let it happen"?

When people are giving advice to guys when it comes to finding or getting a girlfriend, or date, they say a lot of these quotes or phrases "don't go looking for her, just let it happen", "let her come to you, let her find you". Because in reality, girls do not literally pursue or chase guys, its always or usually the other way around. C'mon, everyone obvious knows that in our culture and society, it's the guy that makes the first move and asks the girl out, initiates the date and relationship. Guys do not get a girlfriend just standing still.

A girl will not fall into a guys lap unfortunately, us guys to do all or most of the work in order to get anything with or from a girl, and I'm not just referring to sex.
women have much more options than men do.
I've also noticed that girls are the ones that usually say those kind of quotes or phrases, THAT IS BULLSHIT!, girls do not know how much pressure there is on us guys to initiate the pursuit.
A guy does not get a girlfriend just standing still, however, girls do get a boyfriend just standing still.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think what this really means is don't do things just for the sake of finding the someone (e.g don't join the gym with the aim to find a girlfriend instead of working out). It doesn't mean don't chase or pursue the girl you have interest in.

    • Don't you think women have it easier?

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    • In a way guys have options as well right? Just that at the moment you chose to focus on a particular girl doesn't mean she is the last girl in your life. You have subconsciously rejected other potential prospects and decided to go for her. And in theory, you can approach any woman that crosses your path, but not every man that crosses a woman's path is going to approach her. So women actually in a way have a smaller set to choose from if they don't do the approach.

    • Yeah, but women always or usually have the final say, the final approval, or denial before anything.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I tend to take it this way, when we are trying too hard, that unfortunately seems to be the time we mess up the most, and things won't happen for us. It to me, means don't put so much pressure on yourself that it MUST happen and it must happen NOW. I don't take the saying literally. Because almost nothing will just fall in your lap, well not something you want to fall there, anyway.

    • Yeah, because girls do not chase or pursue guys, they always want us to make the first move unfortuneately.

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    • I would pretty much agree with that. Doesn't mean one shouldn't still try though. After all the things most worth having are usually the things one has to work the hardest to obtain.

    • I hate how girls think they have it harder when in reality they don't.

  • It means that you always find the girl of your dreams when your least expecting it.


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